Dear future mother-in-law, I don’t want to beat around the bush, but mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law do not always get along perfectly. I hope that will not be the case with us. However, I want you to understand my perspective so that we will get along better. You might have a lot of expectations from me (cooking skills, housekeeping…) but I want you to recall your son’s childhood days when he spent all his time in front of the TV. I probably did the same. When he was at school all day, I was at my school all day too. When he returned home and threw his school bag in the corner and went out to

meet his friends, I was one of his friends. And no matter how many times you requested him to leave his computer, he would remain stuck there saying “five more minutes”. Likewise, I was stuck to my computer with my parents’ requests in the background telling me to come have dinner.

When he said he wanted to join guitar class, I probably joined some art class too. Remember how he never wanted to attend family parties? I would say I was sick to stay home too. You probably kept telling him to turn down his music, my mother was angry that my dad purchased those loud speakers for me too. When your son was studying hard for his SLC, I also studied all night. When he spent his term-break studying for the college admission exams, I was doing the same. When he got admitted into one of the reputed colleges, I got enrolled in another equally reputed college.

He probably told you that he had no time for anything else because Physics and Chemistry had consumed his mind, and you lovingly told him that all he had to do was study. My mother made sure I studied undisturbed too. I never had free time to do any domestic chores because I was busy with high school, friends, assignments, programmes, events, charity work and community service.

Today, your son has a hectic job schedule, and I have a similar one. He never bothered with cooking all his life, and sadly, I never bothered either. Now that I am married to your son, you expect me to know everything your son doesn’t. If he cannot cook the kind of dinner you like, I cannot either. But now you have a problem with that. I am a woman, something my mother never forgot to emphasise at least a gazillion times a day. I know that I am a woman, but I think you should understand that I am no different from your son. Now, I ask you, “Why do you expect me to get up earlier than your son? Why do you want me to work when he can watch cricket all day and all night? And I will not take “Because you are a Nepali woman” for an answer!