It’s your first day at college. You see a girl and it’s love at the very first sight. You can’t  do anything about it. You find her on Facebook, and send her a friend request. You see couples all around you, and hope that someday you’ll also be one too.

You reach out to her friends, and make them your friends. You make several attempts to talk to her, but you fail. Finally, after many tries, you have your first conversation: An exchange of names; not phone numbers yet. Every day you say a casual ‘hi’ and bid a ‘stay safe’ goodbye, and have a little chat during the breaks. You smile like an idiot every single time you think about her or see her. Talks start to become a little longer; glances become more frequent. You are caught in her spell. But one day, you discover that she’s got a boyfriend.

I am sure a lot of us have had similar experiences. Why on earth are all good, intelligent and beautiful girls already taken? Why do all your crushes end up crushing you? And you get stuck in a deep hole. Your playlist is full of tragic songs. You can’t keep yourself from staring at her and talking to her. You do have conversations, but with fake smiles and a broken heart. You wish that you were the one—the one she loved back. Your friends, on the other side, tease you and make a fool out of you for running behind someone who’s never going to be yours—not in this life.

You don’t talk to her for weeks—even for month. After a while you decide to start talking to her again—but just for the sake of your friendship. And then after a long time, you go talk to her with a bright smile and slowly you go back to just having the conversations that are limited to a casual ‘hi’ and a sweet ‘goodbye’.

That’s how it happened to me; it was like a cycle. A cycle you never wanted to get back on again. You don’t want to run in circles again. You smile and hang out with friends. And you show that you’re happy even when you are not. The distance you make with the emotional world helps you cope with your heartbreak. Until you find someone who makes the world a better place. Wait for the right time—for the right person who will step into your life.

Subedi is a +2 student at St Xavier’s College