First of all, let us all congratulate Deuba for appearing on a TV show to interact with the public. It seems that Deuba has not lost his arrogance at all. After all, he is our Maharaja from Dadeldhura. Who cares if he was once fired by Gyanu Uncle and even sent to jail? Gyanu Uncle has already left the palace and he is no longer Lord Vishnu! So, I guess it doesn’t count and this is the man who wants to impeach the Chief Justice because he can’t have his way. 

Who cares if he started the culture of buying our lawmakers, showering them with gifts, cash and tax-free vehicles and even vacations to foreign lands? Our politicians all huddle up in dark rooms in resorts, sip their raksi and make deals left and right to share power and enjoy the loot!

Who cares if his brother-in-law made a bundle when we bought arms from bideshis to fight our rebels? We all know that near and dear ones of our politicians make tons of money when their folks are in power! Even our Emperor was not ashamed to share power with the same man who once put a price on his head and is now hell-bent on making sure that his daughter becomes the Mayor! If a game of football was like Nepali politics then you would call it match-fixing and it would be a crime. 

Nepal Police once arrested our footballers for match-fixing and wanted to charge them with treason. How come no one wants to arrest our politicians for treason when they have all joined hands to take this country down the drain?

Deuba should not only keep his astrologers by his side but also hire PR folks and even a coach to learn how to speak to the common folks. At least Gyanu Uncle would nod his head and say ‘yes’. KP Oli dreamt about gas pipelines and what not and at least showed us that you have every right to dream big even if you are out of touch with reality. Our Emperor tells us that even if his party failed to create any dhamaka in the local elections, the whole country has won because he managed to conduct the first phase of the local elections. And it helps when you have already made billions of Rupees on the side as well. Our Emperor and his family can live like Kings for another century while the comrades who fought for him and his party have nothing.

Deuba thinks that we, the people are beneath him and he doesn’t have to be polite and even try to answer the questions like a politician. He acts like a bully and he doesn’t care what the world thinks of him either. He is our Prime Monster. He doesn’t have Gyanu Uncle to fire him again. He doesn’t have to answer to the people because he knows that as long as he makes our Constipated Assembly (CA) members happy, they will support him to make billions of Rupees while he doles out millions to our lawbreakers!

Deuba is right when he tells us that he can’t bring Oxford University to Nepal. Yes, we should be happy with our Tribhuvan University here. Just because you went to a good school and got good grades doesn’t make you a good politician. Just because you are filthy rich doesn’t make you a great world leader. But here in Nepal, we think the clowns who can spew venom and attack their opponents with gaalis and jokes make great politicians. Maybe, it’s time our real comedians joined politics and give our real politicians a run for their money!

Deuba seems to think he is still an angry young man. He is still angry but is now a senior citizen. He promises our senior citizens that he will double their allowances. If our politicians stopped asking for kickbacks from civil servants, contractors and other con artists, then our country would have enough funds to even provide allowances for the unemployed youth as well. 

But here, a few thousand of corrupt hakim sahebs, netas and byaparis run the country like their private country club. We, the people are not welcomed at all. We are here to serve them, be exploited by them and have to pay chiya kharcha everywhere just to get the basic services which are supposed to be free and entitled as being citizens of this country. 

Deuba and his fellow crooks all behave not with humility but with pride for being corrupt and  think that humiliating the public will give a boost to their ego. It seems that our politicians think that this country owes them everything while they owe us nothing. We should not stop reminding them that the luxury vehicles they drive around in, the security personnel surrounding them, the fuel and maintenance expenses and even house rent and other perks provided to these chors are paid for by the people of this land and not our chimekis or their agents!

The Nepali Kangaroos should be ashamed that Deuba continues to lead their party and even becomes a Prime Minister for the fourth time. It’s time the young folks in the grand old party of this land come together and revolt against the old fogies who don’t want to let go. It’s time all the youth leaders of our political parties work together to throw the same corrupt bunch of thieves out of their own parties.  When we still have people like Deuba around to lead us to hell, then there is no point of whining about bideshis interfering in our politics! 

The Amrikis have Trump. We have Deuba. Both seem to suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. At least Deuba doesn’t consider the media his enemy. Instead of visiting India and China, our King Deuba should first visit the United States of Amrika and meet with Trump. And Deuba should learn how to counter the Trump handshake and even do better than Modi’s bear hug. Maybe, a simple Namaste would do! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]