Saturday Features

Are we there yet?

  • The truth is that as long as we have the same bunch of thieves ruling us, not much will change and the corruption nataks will continue forever
- Guffadi

Dec 9, 2017-

First of all let us congratulate our government for successfully holding our local, provincial and parliamentary elections. In a week, our Election Commission wallahs will let us know who won and who failed to even get their deposit back.  It seems that most of our so-called top loafers of our major political parties will win from their constituencies. After all, they have lots of money and muscles to help them win the election.

Let us thank our Emperor Prachanda and Maharaja Deuba for doing the right thing even if it meant that their parties would not do well in these elections. Our Emperor showed us all that he can break and forge alliances with his enemies as long as it helps him or his near and dear ones. His brief romance with the Kangaroos helped his daughter to be our Mayor. And now his new fling with our United Mundrey Leaders might help him to become our President.

If our comrades do get the majority then it seems that our national comedian Oli uncle will be our Prime Monster again. Hopefully, if that happens then his dream to give us cooking gas through pipelines and having our own ships will come true. We might also start generating thousands of MW of electricity through wind power.

But we never know with our Emperor and what his next magic trick will be. He might still want to be our PM and might change partners like the French politicians. And our Maharaja Deuba tells us that his astrologers have told him that he will be our Prime Monster seven times. If our fortune tellers are correct then this man will still be our Prime Monster in 2020 and even a decade later. He might even be hanging around Baluwatar when he is 90!

Yes, most of us think that having a stable government that will govern for five years will finally bring peace and prosperity in this land of ours. But we know that our politicians will fight with each other and engage in backstabbing and taking boras of cash from both domestic and foreign donors to topple their own government. Our comrades who promise to unite and rule for the next fifty years will show their true colors in a week. Our politicians are good at breaking up their own parties rather than making up. Let us see how far our bromance between Oli and Prachanda will go.

The truth is that as long as we have the same bunch of thieves ruling us, not much will change and the corruption nataks will continue forever. Our government promises to govern for everyone but at the end of the day, our politicians will work together to help our shady byaparis and contractors and their cadres while the common folks get nothing.

Our government has yet to appoint any provincial chiefs, they have not yet determined where our provincial capitals will be and they do not know where they will house the provincial assemblies. So don’t be surprised if our provincial lawmakers hang out by the chiya pasal until they know where they will be meeting. We only know our provinces by number and it might even take years or might never have the name of our provinces due to disagreement between our provincial lawmakers. You need two-third majority to name a province. I think our provincial lawmakers should just come up with a top ten list and then ask us, the voters to vote via SMS so that we can save money on paper, security and other chiya kharcha for our civil servants. SMS fees can also help our provinces to generate some revenue so that it can afford to feed its lawmakers, ministers, chief ministers and chiefs.

And let us congratulate Deepak Manange dai for being a provincial lawmaker from Manang. Yes, we need lots of folks like him to be our lawmakers both in our provinces and at the federal level. After all, when will our dons only work as muscles for our chor netas. Everybody has to climb the ladder and we all know that folks like Deepak dai, Ganesh Lama and other dons have already made the money and they have the muscle and if things go right, then they will be our ministers at the provinces and someday even be a minister at the center as well.

Even our major political parties have opted to favor criminals and contractors instead of their own loyal political cadres when it comes to handing out tickets. And even our so-called youth leaders of major political parties depend on mundrey gundas to provide security for them. If our politicians think that only money and muscles matter than in a decade or two, we will only have criminals and shady byaparis running the country.

Well, they have been doing that for decades but now, we will have them as our lawmakers. We don’t know if we should be happy or sad or ashamed of ourselves. After all, we are the ones who vote for our corrupt clowns, contractors and criminals. And when these buffoons win and go to the House, they will only work for the benefit of their donors. That’s how it works and we can’t do anything about it.

After all, we live in a democratic country and we need to respect the votes of our own people.  Someday, we will all have the courage to vote with our conscience instead of family, party or social lines and elect folks who will do something for the people and the country instead of only for their cousins and cadres!

- Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

Published: 09-12-2017 09:50

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