Saturday Features

Worst in the world

  • The water we drink is pretty bad. The road we drive on is full of potholes. And now, the air we breathe is nasty as well
- Guffadi
The young and healthy go overseas in hopes of becoming wealthy. They come back home with wrecked bodies and not much money while the corrupt chors continue to make millions and billions of Rupees

Jan 27, 2018-It’s about time our incompetent government tells the bideshis to stop publishing their research on anything related to this great nation. We know the bideshis are always wrong because if they were right then billions of dollars in foreign aid would not be going back to their consultants, our civil servants, and their chamchas while common folks get a few boras of rice and half-baked goodies!

If you really want to make up stories, that’s okay but at least live in this great land of ours for a decade and then come up with your own findings on how we roll. We may not have the best of everything but when it comes to survival, we have already proven Darwin wrong that you don’t have to be the fittest to be ahead in the game.

Look at our politicians! Most of them are over-weight, suffer from high blood pressure and sugar problems, and yet they continue to ruin this country with their collective looting. The young and healthy go overseas in hopes of becoming wealthy. They come back home with wrecked bodies and not much money while the corrupt chors continue to make millions and billions of Rupees from government contracts and transfers and promotions of our civil servants.

This land is for our con artists, contractors, civil servants and our almighty political clowns. And what about us, the common folks who are law-abiding citizens and who are honest and hardworking? The government and our authorities conspire to make our lives miserable and we continue to allow our chors to take this country down the drain and we just give up and are afraid to take a stand, except of course the crazy Dr KC!

We need a President who can tell our politicians to stop acting like juvenile delinquents and get their act right before it is too late. Our Madame President is busy hosting dinner parties for our Emperor and his family and maybe she just wants another extension. After all, once you go, the perks continue.

Our former President could have just moved to his own residence in Bagdole and not take any dough to live in somebody else’s house and waste a few lakhs of our taxpayers money every month. But that would not be the right thing. Our politicians do not care if they set a right example for the rest of us.

If Dr Yadav decided not to take much freebies from the government then our current President would have to either follow suit once she is out of the office or just act like blind and ask for more chiya kharcha. But then who wants to forgo free lunches?

Now, we have seven mini-Presidents in our provinces. They will get more than a dozen staff and more security and lots of freebies. I think it would be better if Anuradha auntie just took one army personnel with her and a chauffeur rather than drive around like a mini-Maharani! When will we get folks who believe in higher thinking and simple living rather those who believe that this country owes them free luxury vehicles, security and chiya kharcha just because they happen to be politicians or get appointed to position of power?

A few years ago, our international airport was ranked one of the worst in the world. Some bideshis even called it a bus stop instead of an international airport. It seems that we are least offended when the bideshis call us names or make us look bad but we are up in arms if we call each other chors.

Our immigration department is busy looting from our own brothers and sisters who go overseas to work in the Middle East! Our airport authorities are not worried about cab drivers acting like hooligans when trying to get tourists and our own folks inside their cabs. Our airport taxis charge us at least eight hundred to move out of the airport and our cops and civil servants in charge of monitoring black marketing seem to be asleep or maybe they get chiya kharcha from our cabbies as well!

It’s about time we had some kind of a height and weight requirement for cops stationed at our airports. Let us have like at least six feet tall and six percent body fat cops with heavy weapons moving so that any potential terrorist would think twice before deciding to bring firearms or any weapons of mass destruction to the airport. Yes, we have had one terrorist incident a long time ago but that was due to our cops letting in free sweet boxes in our chimeki airlines!

The water we drink is pretty bad. The road we drive on is full of potholes and sinkholes, and our capital is undergoing never-ending construction works on our roads. And now, the air we breathe is nasty as well. Yes, the bideshis tell us that we have one of the worst air quality in the world. And once we are done with having at least one cement factory in every district in this land then we can all wear gas masks and carry a bottle of oxygen everywhere we go!

As usual, it’s the Swiss who come first in most of the good things ranked in the world. We have so much in common with these yodelers. Well, except for the fact that our politicians earlier used to promise us that we would be another Switzerland and that we are also a landlocked nation with mountains, we have nothing common with the Swiss.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Published: 27-01-2018 08:29

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