Guffadi

Speechless in Baluwatar

  • Oli is more than happy to receive a medal for good governance and leadership which is probably the biggest joke
- Guffadi

Dec 8, 2018-

When Oli became our Prime Monster for the first time, he promised us many things. He left Baluwatar without fulfilling any of the promises made. We are still waiting for our government to pour some money to promote wind energy. We are still waiting for our homes to be connected to cooking gas pipelines. We are waiting for everything Oli promised us then.

We seem to be a patient lot and continue to believe our national comedian the second time around. This time, we are waiting for trains connecting from Lhasa to Lalitpur to Lucknow. Yes, we will be the bridge between the two chimekis. But somebody forgot to tell Oli that it will cost a lot of money and  many decades because of difficult geographic terrain and will probably be like ‘Melamchi’ due to political interference and lazy contractors. After all, our successive governments always fail to spend the dough for our development projects year in and year out.

It was better when Oli was our national comedian and made us laugh. Today, Oli is a different man. He is hardly funny. He is a grumpy old man who thinks that the world is against him. How did a man who seemed happy and was always ready to entertain us with his one-liners suddenly turn into a crazy wacko who wants to stop us all from voicing our opinion?

Oli and his courtiers think that they can roll over us just because they have a two-third majority in the House. But somebody needs to remind our great comrades that we are a federal democratic republic of Nepal where freedom of speech, assembly, religion and of the press is granted in the constitution of this land.

Our constitution allows us to express our opinion freely without fear of punishment but Oli and his courtiers have yet to read the constitution. So, the first thing the Speaker of the House should do is ask all our lawmakers to read the constitution and then sit for an exam and post the marks online. If you do not pass the exam then you are not fit to be our lawmaker. But of course, you don’t need fulfill any criteria except for age to be our lawmaker.

And if our two-third majority government really wanted to change this country then they should vote for age and term limit for our lawmakers. But we all know that our greatest communist government on Earth will not do that because then our old fogies would all have to stay home and read newspaper in the sun and eat badam and suntala and not get any chance to embezzle funds from the state coffer.

Oli has once again done us proud by acting like a mafia don instead of a prime minister. A PM is a person who leads the nation and should act like our guardian. But here in this land of ours, the person who lives in Baluwatar seems to be taken over by an evil spirit and make the person think that he is a dictator.

Oli is not happy with the media wallahs. Our state-run newspapers have stopped publishing stories about ‘Nirmala’. Our Miscommunication Mantri threatens private media wallahs about shutting them down and reminds them that the government is the leading advertiser in the dailies and they should be careful or risk losing ad revenue. And now Oli is after the so-called intellectual community. Oli is not happy with the so-called PhD and padantey wallahs. He accuses them of making cheap comments against him and his courtiers. He wants the so-called intellectuals to come to him first for a debate session before going to the press to voice their opinion. He has even promised us all that the so-called intellectuals will be bedridden if Oli responds to their cheap comments.

Oli knows he has the power to jail us. Our police wallahs will not hesitate to carry out ‘encounters’ and our CDO sahebs will be more than happy to send us to jail following the orders of the Home Ministry. During the days of the Pancheys, folks like Oli were considered terrorists. The folks like Oli became our rulers and the Maoists were considered terrorists. Today, then Maoists are now in bed with Oli and the people and the press are now considered terrorists. Yes, this is the new Nepal where the taxpayers are treated like terrorists and the chors running this country who actually are committing treason are treated like Kings. So, let us request our media wallahs not to be harsh on Oli and his courtiers or their programmes and policies.

We the people may not believe in our netas but at least bideshi cults do believe in our leaders. A South Korean cult decides to dole out cash prize and an award to our PM and he happily accepts it without double checking their background. Oli is more than happy to receive a medal for good governance and leadership which is probably the biggest joke of 2018. And let us thank our government for spending karods of rupees to host a conference for this cult and invite politicians with not so good human right record to our land.

Dear PM Oli, do not criticise retired professors and civil servants if they do not agree with your nataks. Please do not take us back to the old days of pancheys. They had mandaleys then while you have most of the mundreys today but please remember that all good things do come to an end. So, enjoy your time in Baluwatar and go home to Balkot.

Then, we will have our Emperor in Baluwatar and we hope that he will be less thin-skinned and not so arrogant like Oli. Yes, Prachanda will be different because he has already shown us time and again that he can bend backwards, sideways or anyways to be in the game. We need a flexible person at this hour not a grumpy old man who is slowly transforming into a despot. Oli, we want you to be like the late Mandela but you want to be a Mugabe!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

 

Published: 08-12-2018 08:14

User's Feedback

Click here for your comments

Comment via Facebook

Don't have facebook account? Use this form to comment