One of the leading Bollywood actresses during the 90s, Manisha Koirala has seen a fair share of ups and downs in her personal as well as professional life. Born in a politically-prominent family, Koirala has carved a niche for herself in Nepal and India with her critically and commercially acclaimed films. But a major turning point in her life was being diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2012. The 48-year-old Nepal-born actress has been very vocal about her journey with the life-threatening disease and has been cancer-free since 2015. In her own words, cancer made her understand life better. After being diagnosed with cancer, she has also been known for her advocacy and now, she has detailed her journey in a memoir titled ‘Healed: How cancer gave me a new life’, co-authored by award-winning author Neelam Kumar. In this interview with the Post’s Bibhu Luitel, Koirala talks about the inspiration behind the publication of the book and her future plans. Excerpts:

Congratulations on your recovery and on the new book. Can you tell us a little bit about the book and what inspired you to write it?

This book is about my cancer journey, about where I went, what happened and what situation I was in. It is a firsthand experience of a cancer patient. I felt it was a really important phase of my life because when I was diagnosed with cancer, I hit rock bottom in my life. I felt compelled to tell the story because that was a very different experience in my life.

Did you think this could be of inspiration to someone?

I expected a couple of things to happen after the publication of the book. First, it would definitely inspire people to know that even after going through such a grueling and painful situation, there is hope. Second, there is the possibility of leading not only a healthy life, but the best life. I hope this book can encourage people.

We have already heard a lot about your cancer journey from various talk shows and interviews. Is there something new in the book?

All those talks and interviews had only a few elements. In this book, I have gone into detail and spoken a lot more about my journey and the entire process. This book also talks a lot about what Kathmandu is to me because I was diagnosed here by Dr Madhu Ghimire. This holds all the experiences I had before and after the diagnosis. It also includes my visit to Mumbai afterwards and what Mumbai means to me and how I see that city. Then, it details my treatment in New York. It is a bit of travelogue as well, as it talks about various places I have been to. Moreover, it’s my journey to understand what health is, how to live my life well, and how to have a quality life.

Being diagnosed with cancer can destroy anyone. How did you deal with your diagnosis and your treatment?

It was the most shocking experience. I didn’t believe the diagnosis to be true. For a long period of time, I kept thinking the diagnosis might have gone wrong somewhere. The moment you know you have cancer makes you feel you are going to die. It feels like a death certificate. But with time, I started feeling that it might not be the reality. There is treatment, there is possibility of life. Your disease is just your opportunity to ease into harmony and balance. It’s all about how you deal with it.

So you believe this experience has made you stronger than before?

It’s made me much wiser if not stronger. The realisation of your own mortality in such a close encounter with death definitely makes anyone wiser. Cancer cells can be present anywhere in your body. It might or might not be detected. Living with that for a long period of time makes you actually start appreciating life and what life has given to you. What I have noticed in most cancer patients is that when they find out about the disease, they start living life to the fullest. They look after themselves. They start looking more beautiful than ever because each moment means a lot to them. When there is a second chance to life, they embrace it wholeheartedly.

What was the process of writing a book like for you? How different is it from acting?

Because I have been into acting for almost three decades now, it is more comfortable for me. I won’t say it’s very easy but I have been used to it. At least I know how to navigate myself when it comes to acting. But a book is something very new. I struggled a lot with it. The final version is the result of rewriting it 58 times. Narrating my experience through writing was not that simple. It was a difficult process because I had to relive every moment and remember everything in detail, even the things I did not want to remember. Writing a book was a painful process. Normally, we want to forget everything and move on with life. People who have read my book have found me brutally honest when it comes to sharing experiences. What’s the point of telling a story if you are not honest? I have not portrayed myself as a perfect human being. I have poured even my flaws in the book. You can be honest with your readers only if you are honest with yourself.

On a scale of one to ten, how honest have you been?

Well, I think about eight!

And the remaining two?

I have poured my heart out as much as I could. I believe my honesty should not hurt the other person. I do not believe in blame games and taking names. So, eight!

After a lull of a few years, you’re now back with a bang with a number of new films, including last year’s Dear Maya, Netflix’s Lust Stories and this year’s Sanju. What brought you back and what keeps you working so hard?

I believe I am creative by nature. I love cinema and storytelling. The book is also a medium of storytelling. I have ideas for more books I’d like to publish. Someday, if I am able to gather enough courage, I will even direct a film. That’s a huge responsibility. I really have high standards and I don’t know if I can meet them. I lack that sort of confidence right now. Apart from that, I love acting. I will keep on acting. I have a lot of energy that I want to use in a good way. I also love giving motivational speeches. I will keep on contributing in whatever way I can to spread awareness on cancer, women’s rights, safety and security. There are many baskets I want to fill.

How familiar are you with Nepali film industry? Do you watch any Nepali films and if you do, what do you think of them?

Unfortunately, I am not that familiar. I was a jury member at a Nepali short film festival where I got to see some incredible short films made in Nepal by Nepalis and was proud of them. When you are not driven by  commerce, you actually want to take chances, because even if you lose money, you are not going to lose a huge amount. That makes short filmmakers give their best. I saw some amazing works in terms of writing and performances. I was very proud to see works of international standard by young Nepali filmmakers. Those short Nepali movies can compete in any international festival. Besides that, I do not want to sound rude but I am not driven to see some of the popular films just because they are commercially successful, until and unless I know they are good films.

We in Nepal have always had a soft spot for you. With a new crop of young Nepali filmmakers, do you see yourself in any Nepali productions in the near future?

This would be too early to announce and commit because it’s a process.

Since taking a break from acting and your cancer diagnosis and treatment and now the book, how has your outlook on life changed?

It has changed for the better. It has made me realise that I do believe in destiny and the divine. I have started believing human beings are not everything. But I have also realised that human will is a tremendous factor in helping us achieve what we really wish for, provided we put in the hard work. You also need to have enough will and strength within you to fight against every obstacle that comes your way. I started believing a lot more in human capacity. Sometimes, we do not realise how strong we are until being strong is the only option we are left with. We can achieve whatever we desire if we are willing to put in the work.

Healed

Author: Manisha Koirala with Neelam Kumar

Publisher: Penguin

Pages: 240

Price: Rs 798

Healed is the powerful, moving and deeply personal story of actor Manisha Koirala's battle against ovarian cancer. From her treatment in the US and provided by the oncologists there to how she rebuilt her life once she returned home, this non-fiction takes us on an emotional roller-coaster ride through her fears and struggles—and how she eventually came out triumphant. Today, as she completes six years of being cancer-free.