Print Edition - 2014-09-06  |  On Saturday

All in the family

  • Our Emperor and other weaklings have refused to submit their candidate list because they are probably holding out in hopes of getting more cash from interested bidders
- Guffadi
All in the family

Sep 5, 2014-

Once again, our political parties have shown us that they are a bunch of freeloaders who will do anything for cash. The 26 vacant CA seats were supposed to be filled by folks from the indigenous communities and those who have made great contribution to the country but our buffoons are only interested in cash and cronies.

Seven months after starting their ‘slumber party’, our CA now has 17 nominated members. And most of our new CA members have either doled out bundle of notes or they are family. Our Emperor and other weaklings have refused to submit their candidate list because they are probably holding out in hopes of getting more cash from interested bidders.  

Maybe somebody needs to remind our clowns that they are getting free lunches so that they can give us a constitution and that too on time. Our clowns do not listen to the common folks. They only listen to con artists, contractors and their cousins.  And let us not forget our great bideshi donors and their boras of cash that make our buffoons salivate like Pavlov’s dogs.

One of the names that really stand out in the list of our new CA members is Mr Ganesh Thapa.  Our great former Home Minister and senior tennis champ, Kamal Thapa decided to nominate his own brother as his party’s sole representative.  Monarchy may never make a comeback but the mandaleys continue to have fun.

Ganesh Thapa has been heading the All Nepal Football Association (ANFA) for the past 20 years and it looks he will still be around when Comet Halley makes an official visit.  This man seems to be invincible.  Everybody seems to know that he has only enriched himself and his cronies with ANFA funds but nobody seems to have any evidence to prove that he is guilty. And now, he is our CA member.  Maybe, he should form a committee on his own to investigate the wrongdoings in ANFA.  He will probably find himself innocent and blame it on disgruntled whiners for all the mess.

Maybe, somebody should write a book about him and his formula for staying in power for such long time.  The title of the book could be ‘Money & Muscles’.  For all those wannabe netas or those who want to run sports organisations someday, please learn to distribute the funds to your cronies so that you are more than likely to get the votes to stay in the top seat.

Maybe, our book publishers could do a series and feature most of our freeloaders who have continued to make money by skimming funds from their organisation or the state treasury. We could have a new book every week for another fifty years.

Our CIAA is interested to go after low-level government employees instead of our contractors, cousins and cadres. We now hear about civil servants getting arrested red-handed while receiving bribes from service seekers.  Lok Man Dai probably wants to devote all his energy going after the small fishes while he does not want to mess with the sharks.  He could do us all a big favor if he rounded up all the personal aides of our top leaders and confiscated their black books.  Our netas and top civil servants are never caught receiving bribes because their personal aides do all the deal-making.

But our netas do not run this country.  Fake Vat-bill byaparis and sellers of adulterated products do.  The petrol tanker wallahs are threatening to shut down their services to protect their gang of thieves.  We all know that these tanker wallahs stole fuel products, but it looks like, not only our netas but byaparis are also above the law in this land of ours. The LPG bottlers want the government to increase their quota or else they too want to stop distributing cooking gas so that we can all consume dry food during Dashain.

Our incompetent government plans to increase transport fares just before Dashain to make our bus wallahs happy. If there is no transport fare hike then the bus wallahs threaten to shut down their services.  And if you are thinking of flying then you better apply for a loan from your local cooperative soon.

It would be a good idea if we all stay put this Dashain. Yes, let our bus wallahs, the plane wallahs and all other byaparis making the moolah every Dashain take a break for a change. Those who have to go out of the valley to celebrate Dashain should take a break this year and organise a massive Dashain party in Tundhikhel.

I think it would be better if all the ghar-betis in the valley organised a Dashain party for their tenants as well. Most of our renters pay thousands of Rupees for a shoe box and they have to buy their own water and learn how to be patient by standing in line for an hour to use the one and only restroom. Most of our ghar-betis don’t even pay rental taxes. Maybe, they could spare some dough to at least appreciate the tenant for a day this Dashain. After all, if there weren’t folks to rent the rooms then most of our ghar-betis in the valley would have to do some fasting during Dashain.

Published: 06-09-2014 08:58

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