Agonyaunt

Agonyaunt

Jun 15, 2015-

Think positive

Dear aunt

I am 16-year-old boy. I think I lack mental stability. It’s like I do not have control over my thoughts. Whenever I think of something, my chain of thoughts always flows towards negative ideas and situations. Sometimes I think of very bad things and this makes me worry. Please help me Aunt.

—RT

Dear RT

The fact that you want to improve to be a more positive person is a start to the end of your problem. Most people think of bad things without realising that they should stop—which makes the situation worse. At least you are not one of them and Aunt sees plenty of potential for you to improve.

The first thing you ought to do is figure out where all this negative energy is coming from? Have you always been like this? How long has it been since negative thoughts have been a constant in your head? Do you think you can find the source behind this negativity? It could be in the form of a bad experience of an incident that you have been through in life recently. Perhaps there is an answer within you. Try to find out, but there is no reason for you to pressure yourself. The best way out of it is to relax and try to find a solution. The process itself will help you heal.

Your mind and your thought-process are both parts of your being. That means you have, if not full, some control over them. And sometimes, people’s consciousness is shrouded by the information and emotion that they bear and are not able to think things through. So there have been devised certain exercises that could help you think more clearly. Meditation, for example. There is enough scientific backing that proves that meditation can be helpful to a stressed mind and body. Look up the Internet and go through some tutorials on how to meditate. There are many books in the market that could help you. Try to wake up early in the morning and practice. Even if meditation fails you, it won’t make your situation any worse, Aunt is sure. There is no harm in giving it a try.

They say that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop—perhaps you have been keeping idle much? Aunt advices you to engage in activities that you would potentially enjoy. Sports, art? Just don’t keep vacant—that’s where all the negative thoughts brew from. Aunt has known people who have found new life in learning something new too—it could be a musical instrument, a form of art or any physical activity.

And once you’ve tried keeping busy and think it has not worked for you, maybe you want to go talk to a shrink. Aunt knows that people get all the wrong ideas when the topic of counselling comes up, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. People think only ‘looneys’ go visit a shrink, but that is not true. The recent earthquake that shook us all has left us worried and scared and so many psychologists and psychiatrists are helping people to bring their lives back to normalcy—maybe that is what you need as well.

All in the past

Dear Aunt

I was head over heels for a girl in college. Time passed and it has been five years since we parted ways. Back then, we were pretty committed towards our relationship but since she is a Hindu and I am a Christian, we weren’t able to work things out. She blocked me out of her life and we moved on. But after the quake, she, to my surprise, messaged me and called me and asked me to stay safe. Ever since that fateful day, I have been living through sleepless nights. The phone call brought along with it a stream of memories and all the feelings that I thought I had long left behind.

I really want to move on and stay away for her. I don’t want to ruin her life. But there isn’t a time when I do not think of her. What do I do Aunt? How do I move on?

—DM

Dear DM

From what you have told Aunt, you have, on your own accord, gotten over her in the past. Aunt sees no reason why it will be difficult for you this time around.

As humans, it is not always mandatory for us to be madly in love to care for someone. In your case, she has known you and spent time with you in the past and it is only natural for her to check if you are alright after the disaster. She calling you up after so many years does not mean that she wants you back in her life.

It was a message and a phone call and it is in the past now, just like your relationship with her. Aunt thinks it is best for you to not think about it at all. Some things of the past are best left forgotten.

Published: 16-06-2015 08:19

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