agonyaunt

Apr 26, 2016-

Empty threats

Dear Aunt,

I have only recently come to Kathmandu for my further studies. I have lived in Gorkha all my life and my parents have worked tirelessly to send me here. I live with a couple of friends and besides attending college, I also have a part-time job. Everything had been going smoothly until I met this boy. He says he is in love with me and wants to marry me. He often comes to our flat and tries to get physical with me. I have told him numerous times that I have no interest in having a relationship with him. I want to focus on my education but I can’t seem to shake him off. He threatens to kill himself if I keep him out of my life. I am so confused. What should I do, Aunt?

— Helplessly bound

 

 Dear Helplessly bound,

You seem to be a no-nonsense kind of girl; you are clear about your priorities and are focused on what you want to do in life, keep it that way! I think the best way forward is to just tell this guy sternly. If you want an end to the unnecessary drama then I think it is time you had a serious talk with this guy and be clear to him that you have absolutely no interest in being involved with him. Has he done anything yet that would suggest he would actually take a step to harm himself? If not, then I think his empty threats should not bother you at all.  

 

A test of patience

Dear Aunt, 

I am extremely worried for my sister. She recently went through a bad breakup and had a nervous breakdown. After that incident, she has not been herself. She has been going out constantly and coming home extremely late and completely drunk. She has also recently started dating this guy who I believe is not good company. I have overheard their conversations and I believe this guy takes money from her and abuses her, verbally and physically. Whenever I try to talk to her, she pushes me away. She says I would never understand her problems. It hurts me that she is wasting her life right now, when she has so much potential to do well in life. It hurts me more that she d oes not trust me enough to let me help her. Please advise me. How can I help my sister?

—Lost brother

Dear Lost brother,

Your sister is incredibly lucky to have a brother like you. From what you tell me, it seems like your sister is going through a lot of pain. Love can break you sometimes, but it is also what heals you eventually. I am sure it is extremely tough for you to reach out to your sister when she keeps cutting you off, but you have to try. Make her see that you are there to support her. She will reciprocate one day. But until then, you will have to be patient with her. 

As for the guy she is currently seeing, I think that since it is her decision to choose the people she dates, you can’t really have much say in the matter, at least for now. But once she is more open to you about her problems, you could try talking to her about him too. Right now, be patient. 

Published: 26-04-2016 08:18

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