agonyaunt

- Post Report, Kathmandu

May 10, 2016-

Love gone sour

Dear Aunt, 

I am in a mess. A couple of months back, my relationship ended with this popular well-to-do man and I am devastated. We were dating for a year and a half, things were going smooth and both of us were happy. He is 30 years old and I am 23. Everybody loved us. They thought we had an unusual chemistry that fit our different personalities perfectly. Few months back before we broke up, he had made up his mind to go to Australia for good. Little did I know that he was already in a long distance relationship with a woman there; someone whom he had never met, someone who is more beautiful and attractive than me. We had decided to part ways mutually and not create tension on social media too. Now, all I see on Facebook is his shenanigans with this new girl. I couldn’t deal 

with it, so I removed him. Things have gone nasty now; he keeps telling all my friends how he was never serious about me, compares me with his new one and talks endlessly about his undying true love for this new girl. All this really hurts me because I am not over him. Please, help me.

—Ayecha

Dear Ayecha,

The pain of being cheated on is devastating. It is heartbreaking when the person you love with all your heart turns out to be unfaithful. I know you are hurting right now and every day  seems like a massive struggle but know that one day everything will make sense. Right now, I know that no matter what I say it will not help you see the bigger picture clearly. Your pain is blinding right now. You might have even become highly cautious of other people and block them off completely. But if you look at it positively, think about how much better off without him; he has opened your eyes to see what kind of a person he truly is. Right now, just focus on staying away from anything that reminds you of him, if all it does is hurt you more. When you are strong enough, replace his memories with new, happier ones. Focus on being a better version of yourself instead of thinking about past hurts and broken promises—they will lead you nowhere. It will take time, but time will help you heal. Your heart will be whole again.  

Tied down 

Dear Aunt, 

I am in love with Peggy—Peggy is my seven-year-old Rottweiler. She was very ferocious when she was young. She used to bark at guests whenever they were around us and every one refused to go next to her. In fact, there was this particular incident when Peggy bit my father’s leg so bad that he couldn’t walk for days. Since then, Peggy has always been locked in her kennel. I feel bad for her. She looks like a prisoner. She has no friends now. In fact, our house was filled with dogs years back but Peggy just couldn’t tolerate them so, my aunts and uncles adopted them. Her partner Master also passed away with skin disease and she has become lonely. Now, she is old and is harmless but my parents keep telling me that Peggy is unpredictable and that they wouldn’t want to risk anyone’s life. I feel annoyed at my guests when they say they are coming at a certain time with a reminder to lock Peggy up. Usually, they never show up on time and poor Peggy is chained and kept in the kennel. And now that my to-be-wife will also be joining us soon, my parents plan to kick her out, even though my wife is fine with having Peggy around. Aunt, how am I supposed to make my parents, wife and guests understand that Peggy is old now and harmless? I hate seeing her tied up like this. I need your help!

—DKS

Dear DKS,

I understand your sadness; after all, a dog is a man’s best friend! I am sad to see how the dog you love so much is being taken away from you. Growing up with Peggy around, playing with her throughout your childhood and now having to give her up must be very hard. 

Your parents seem to kicking out your Rottweiler as your soon-to-be wife is moving in. I suggest you tell them how irrelevant it is to let go of Penny just because she is moving in as she is OK with the situation. Also remind everyone that the problems which led your parents to tie Peggy up aren’t present anymore. Make your parents keep that and Peggy’s present behaviour in mind before kicking her out. 

If not, try emotionally blackmailing your parents! Remind them how Peggy has no one but you guys to love and care for her and about how she’s been around for many years. State how she is already lonely, and she’ll have an even more of a rough time changing homes and surroundings at this age. Tell your parents to hold a test trial, where Peggy is around with your to-be wife around for a week or two and see how it goes. 

If it does not go well, maybe you just have to let her go, it is time to get used to her not being around all the time, seeing that she is already old. That being the scenario, you have to move on. I hope these tips help you keep your beloved family pet, and if you’re luckier, not tied up! If things don’t go the way you want them to, you should accept that not everything you want in life is attainable and that you have to deal with it and move on.

Published: 10-05-2016 08:35

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