Our incompetent government has already announced the date for local elections and we are all excited that we will finally have our own folks representing us in the villages, wards and municipalities. It’s been a long time since we had our sarkari wallahs heading our local offices and our civil servants are good at doing nothing while making sure that the so-called all party mechanism continues to loot the funds meant for the people.

Yes, we know that the looting will continue even when we have our own mayors and ward chairpersons but at least we can hold them accountable and kick them out come next election. But with  civil servants, we have no choice but to bear their incompetence and lack of will to do what’s right.

Local elections are not easy. It is much easier to win the general election and be a MP than win the local election and be a ward chairperson. Local elections are tough because first you have to be a local. You can’t just be a person from Rolpa and then show up in Dolpa and contest election from there like our parasites do during the general elections.

Look at our Emperor! The man contested from Kirtipur and Siraha and somehow was lucky enough or managed to make a deal to win from Siraha by a meager 900 votes.  And the funny thing is the man doesn’t even live in any of these two places that he stood up for election. I think we need some kind of a residency law that only allows a person from the same area to fight all elections instead of having a guy from Lamjung win the general election from Lalitpur.

Second, you need to have some experience working for the people be it as a tole samiti member or be involved in social service or be it a political parasite to fight local elections. You have to know your neighbors and be in touch with other influencers in the ward or municipality.

Twenty years ago, a former mundrey became our ward chairperson. Yes, you can be a mundrey gunda and if you can scare most of your opponents and charm the rest of the folks then you too can be a ward chairperson. Yes, money and muscles work hand in hand when winning elections in this land. No wonder, most of our mundrey gundas are affiliated with our major political parties. Some who are not that lucky get killed by the police, some who are lucky go on to be netas and even mantris and use the police for their own personal gain.

Twenty years ago, we used to make fun of Bihar. Now, the Biharis make fun of us because our politicians and criminals are now working day and night to make this country disappear while the Biharis seem to be doing much better when it comes to building infrastructure and steering their state in the right direction.

Yes, we will all be lining up to cast our votes come May 14th.  But it seems that our political parties are not yet ready for elections. It seems that this country is being held hostage by our so-called big three political parties. The three stooges just want to share power and enjoy the loot.

Our three circus companies need to be on the same page and should address the demands of our Madhesi and Janjati parties. Finally, the House has been able to hold deliberations on the seven-point amendment bill but we all know that if the bill is not passed with revisions then local elections will not be possible in the plains and the hills.

Our government will spend billions of Rupees to hold the local elections. And then we have the state and general elections as well. As usual our chors will spend most of the capital budget in the last month of the fiscal year and we, the people seem to be not interested to speak up and stand up to the mismanagement of funds by the folks in power.

King Deuba is the man under pressure this month. He really wants his man from the Far West to be our police chief because the local leaders from his region have asked him not to come back if Chand does not get the kurchi to head Nepal Police.

Our Supreme Court is taking its time to figure out if the cabinet decision to appoint Chand is right. Currently, we have a doctor heading the police force. While he is the acting chief, it would be nice if he introduced a fitness test for most of our police personnel. And there should be a no drinking on the job and ‘wash your mouth with soap’ before interacting with the public campaign as well.

 Our security agencies need to be prepared and be able to maintain law and order during elections. We know that it’s a difficult task because you also have deal with political pressures and whoever is in charge of Home Ministry tend to use our security agencies to somehow help his or her own political party in such times. It’s about time we had a separate Police Service Commission and made sure that our political parasites stop interfering with the transfers and promotions of our police wallahs. But of course, our netas don’t want to do what’s right for this country. It’s sad that the real patriots are silent while traitors get to be in power while slowly selling out this country to the highest bidder!

- Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]