An author with two poetry collections and one story anthology, Seema Aavas has made it to the list of this year’s Madan Puraskar shortlist with her book Ma Stree, Arthat Nari. In the book, Aavas writes on issues that revolve around gender, especially tapping into the boundaries that are set by the society for women. A teacher by profession, Aavas, in this conversation with the Post’s Samikshya Bhattarai, talks about her book, gender issues and more. Excerpts:

Your book is titled, Ma Stree, Arthat Aaimai. Can you tell us about the title of the book and the inspiration behind your poems? 

Like most poets and writers, I draw my inspiration from things, people, and everyday situations around me. 

I wanted to write poems where my subject, a woman, is seen as an independent individual with her own identity. In the Nepali language, ‘Stree’ is used to denote the opposite of ‘Purus’ (man). It is often used to describe a woman who has just come of age, is still young, and is ready to take on the role the society has assigned to her—the other half of the man. ‘Aaimai’, on the other hand, is an autonomous word that is derogatively used to describe a woman in her midlife and interestingly, there is no similar word used to describe men of the same age group.

I have realised that this word oddly liberates women from many chains they are tied to and makes the world see them as an individual. So, I decided to name my book Ma Stree, Arthat Aaimai to make a point that a woman’s worth is not limited to her youth and that her role is anything but that of a sexual object. 

There aren’t many books written about women and our issues in Nepali literature. Even those that are written never delve into the matters of individuality. The books, so often, fail to put light on the struggles of a woman and how she deals with an identity crisis. They fail to separate women from men. I have also taken note of how stronger women protagonists and their roles fizzle out with age. The handful of female heroes and leads that we know of are all young. They are all Strees, never Aaimais. 

There are only young female heroes. For example, in Mahabharata, there are notable female characters, but we only ever read about the stories of their youth. Draupadi seldom appears in the later parts of the book, even though she is a central character. In Ramayana too, Sita’s struggle while raising her children by herself is barely tapped into. 

I grew up reading these books. It didn’t take me long to realise that women’s identity is always attached to the men present in their life. This is as if to say, a woman is nothing without a man. And that she doesn’t have any identity of her own. Most of the parts of her life except youth are deemed worthless. I think a woman transitions from Stree to Aaimai after she embraces not just her beauty and youth but also her shortcomings and inner strength. And being an Aaimai, unlike the societal perception, is beautiful and powerful.

In many of your poems, like Maile Bagh Nileko Chhu, you have written about the boundaries that not just the society but women themselves create. How can these boundaries, societal and self-created, be dissolved?

From the time a girl starts to learn, she is taught to be demure, to keep things to herself, to do the household chores, to not compare herself to her brothers and to embrace many other things that restrict her freedom and shrink her into a lesser human being than the men that surround her. For every step she takes, a line (not to be crossed) is drawn for a girl that she internalises it growing up. Before she even realises, she starts thinking inside the box, she limits her desires, she mutes her voice and she shuts down her dreams. 

The poem, Maile Bagh Nileko Chhu, talks about how a woman swallows up these restrictions and conventions and confines herself to them. So many women don’t even realise that they are capable of liberating themselves from patriarchal norms, if only they try. 

These boundaries can only be broken and crossed with collective conscience. It’s not a one-woman work. Every individual in the society needs to understand the problem and come together to uproot it. 

Unlike most of the books about women which portray the distress of women, your poems portray images of women fighting for themselves and struggling for a life they deserve. Why do you think it is important to write these kinds of poems?

Women are often portrayed as fragile and helpless. They, the damsels in distress, are always passively crying for help. Writers and readers both overlook the fact that a woman can be her own saviour and that she can fight for herself. A woman is always described from a man’s eye. For example, the bosom is always perceived as a sexual object. Nobody ever talks about the sense of power a woman feels when she breast-feeds her child. They overlook how the breast is less a symbol of sexuality and more a symbol of nurturing.

Similarly, pregnancy is often perceived as time where women are both emotionally and physically weak, and definitely less attractive. While in contrary, it has to be one of the most powerful phases in a woman’s life where she is housing another life inside her. It is also a time where she is bare, natural and beautiful.

If we continue to portray women this way, the society and women themselves will continue to believe what is being fed to their conscience.

If we are talking about empowering women, we should tear apart all the existing conventional images and expectations. And then build on her strengths. That’s why poems like these are important.

What advice do you have for aspiring women poets and authors? 

I think regardless of your gender, the most important thing that you should do while writing anything is to be yourself. Only when you are honest with yourself and how you feel, can you speak for matters that matter. Nothing does justice to your writing like being true to yourself does. Also, if you are writing to make a difference, know that it takes time. Patience and perseverance are crucial.

In your opinion, what are three books about women that everyone should read?

I think everyone should read Ramayana and Mahabharata to learn about the history of women and their portrayal. Madhavi by Madan Mani Dixit, and Chirharan by Neelam Karki ‘Niharika’ are also great reads.