King Deuba and our lovely queen is in India having some chai and samosas with the Desi netas and their chamchas while our folks who have been displaced by the floods and landslides across the country have not received much help from our incompetent government.  That’s how it works in this land of ours. The Thulo Mancheys act like they are cousins of the Sultan of Brunei. At least the Sultan has oil but what do we have? We have nothing except bunch of thieves who agree to disagree on everything except when it comes to sharing the loot and will work together to foil the hopes and aspirations of the Nepali people in any way possible.

It is up to us to fulfill the dreams of our real martyrs who died dreaming of a better tomorrow. It seems that only Dr KC has a dream while the rest of us are too busy living the life without any purpose.  We have seen the Shree Tins leave the building. Well, our grandfathers did, but it seems that our government can’t even maintain the palaces left by the Ranas and Jangey uncle that stares at us from Bhadrakali. If Jangey were alive today, he would be working in the Gulf instead of hatching conspiracies to gain power.

Our incompetent government can’t even repair the main gate in Singha Durbar and we expect the chors to rebuild this country. Either we are smoking some illegal substance or we just don’t care until the day our government will come to our homes and loot us all of our belongings as well.

We have seen the Shree Panch give it up as well but now, we have the mini-Maharajas who only lust after power and it doesn’t matter to them if millions of us suffer due to their inability to work together for a peaceful and prosperous Nepal.  It seems that our government today can’t even run the state enterprises or the government agencies formed during the times of the Pancheys. Yes, the Shree Tins were bad and the Pancheys were no good either but are our buffoons any better than the chors from yesteryears?  It seems that in this beautiful land of ours, our government continues to honour thieves and murderers and that’s okay with us!

Our chor netas are busy dividing this country into little pieces. They think that this country is a birthday cake and it’s their birthday everyday! It’s not that folks don’t make money in this land. We, the common folks, make enough to survive while our chor netas, civil servants, contractors and cadres make enough to build mansions in the Capital and enjoy the life of luxury.

Deuba and Modi met for an hour and God knows what they talked about but we all know that Modi didn’t understand a word our King Deuba said. Our Prime Monster was probably thinking to himself that he can’t really bring Oxford University to Nepal but maybe, he can ask Modi to help him bring one of those IIT schools in our land as well so that our graduates will also be able to compete in the global arena and make six figure salaries in dollars instead of finding no jobs in our land and seeking work below their qualification for a few Dinars more.

India tells us that it provides billions of Rupees to us to help our schools, infrastructure and give pensions to our folks who have served in the Indian Army. Great, but why can’t the Modi government address the demands of the Indian Nepalis in Darjeeling? Yes, the folks in Darjeeling are Indian citizens of Nepali origin and it does not look right if we speak for them when it comes to their internal matters and our Desi bhais do the same when it comes to our internal affairs as well.

The good news is that our Madhesi netas have agreed to participate in all upcoming polls. Our netas from the plains would rather visit the Indian Embassy in Lainchour or some Desi netas across the border for guidance on how to play their game in Nepali politics instead of sitting down with their brothers and sisters in their own land to sort out their differences. The RJP-N tells us that it is happy that our government has addressed some of their demands and will now pressure the government further to address the rest of their demands through peaceful protest programmes.

Let us hope that such peaceful protest programmes do not include sitting on the border and stopping all traffic again. The RJP-N has decided to use bicycle as its election symbol because the Election Commission (EC) refused umbrella as demanded by the party. Let us hope our folks in Tarai will get free bicycles if the party wins big there.

When Deuba was our Prime Monster two decades ago, he was just stepping into his 50s and could finish a bottle or two of bideshi raksi. Now, he is a senior citizen and we hear that he has cut down on smoking and drinking but his outburst against those who dared to ask him any questions during one of those TV programmes has cast doubt on his mental stability. And we expect such folks to work together to provide political stability in this land of ours!

Deuba may have aged and gone senile but his love for breaking the rules, sharing the loot, and abusing his authority have not diminished at all. I guess our King Deuba and all our chor netas could finally quit stealing from the state, the people, and the world if they enroll in some kind of a hypnosis programme. We don’t know if it will work, but we are willing to give anything a try in hopes that our thieves will repent and will have a change of heart and finally work for the people instead of the bideshi donors and their agents. Deuba tells Modi that he will do everything in his power to amend the constitution of our land. Yes, Deuba is good at offering boras of cash and other gift hampers.

- Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com.