Every day, I wake up to the buzz of an alarm in the same room and then lead the usual routine. Some days feel exactly like the last, while others hold new things in store. It isn’t until I have left the day far behind that I am able to look back at it. And when I do, I realise my life is caught inside an hour glass where the sands of time keep moving—uncontrollably.

I realise that things keep changing, for better or for worse. 

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about what it’s like to grow up. Once you step into the shoes of an adult, you are immediately burdened by the sense of responsibility. And it can be overwhelming.

I have been overwhelmed.

There is so much to think about, there is so much to worry about—dreams, emotions, failures, ambitions, future…the list can go on. There’s no stop to it. And everything is so ever-evolving that before you even realise you transform into someone else.

Maybe this is what growing up is about. It’s like we are watching the sands of time in the hourglass. Days turn into months and months turn into years just like that. And you are left with nothing but a sense of false existence.

 “At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what is happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate,” writes Paulo Choelho in his book The Alchemist. I believe that at that point, the sands of time take our dreams away from us with no promise of return. Life is not simply a math equation where you know what you are looking for. There are bound to be failures, unexpected outcomes, tears and regret. The challenges are important for growth and development. The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you have got to put up with the rain.

When things don’t go as planned, you often find yourself wishing you were younger and you didn’t have to worry about the grown-up things.  That is also when the sands of time take you down the memory lane, leaving you nostalgic with school photographs, prized achievements, and the firsts and the lasts. That is also when you realise that “life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”

 The sands of time can never be controlled. Whether you like it or not, the time will pass by and if anything is certain, it is going to bring change with it. Things, people, situation, everything will evolve. And all that you can really hold on to is memories. And these memories will mostly be imperfect and fragmented, but you will always treasure it, for without memories one cannot exist.

The least you can do is make the best out of your today so that when you look back at it tomorrow, you can smile and not regret.

Pokhrel is a high school graduate from St Xavier’s College