Our Election Commission (EC) wallahs tell our political parties to follow the election code of conduct but as always, our chors know only how to break the rules and not worry because they can get away with it.  

We maybe one of the poorest countries in the world but it seems that our netas have enough dough to hire choppers and spend like they are one of the cousins of the Saudi King. But the Saudis have oil for now. What do we have? Well, we the people have boils listening to our politicians making promises they will never fulfill.

And it seems that some folks do want to foil the election campaigns of some of our netas by throwing stones and using home-made firecrackers. Let us hope that our candidates will be provided police security. Sorry, most of them already have tons of security thanks to their stint as our ministers and they still worry about security.

And our candidates will be spending more this time around because we now have slimy contractors and shady byaparis standing up for elections, thanks to our major political parties who have given them the tickets. We even have criminals standing up for elections. So what does that teach us? Well, if you have the dough you can buy our politicians and someday even this country because our lawmakers will not hesitate to sell it to the highest. 

Yes, this is the only land on earth where our politicians rarely get punished for their misdeeds. And even if a few of them do go to jail then it’s only for a year or two and a fine of a few Karods when they have looted hundred times more. Even our civil servants are not ashamed when they are arrested and accused of embezzling hundreds of Karods. 

These hakim sahebs know very well that they will spend a few years in jail and then everything will be back to normal because they have already stashed their ill-gotten wealth somewhere or in the name of their father-in-law’s cousin.  And why do you need to be afraid of the people when you have already paid off millions of Rupees in chiya kharcha to our chor netas?  

And when it comes to campaign finances, our political parties never tell the EC, or the people, where they get their funds from and it seems that the EC does not have the courage to take any action against our major political parties at all.  

The EC tells our candidates that they can’t spend more than 25 lakhs if they are standing up for election to be our member of the parliament. But we all know that you need to spend a few Karods and more if you really want to win. 

I think our government officials should stop acting like they don’t know the price of the vegetables in the market today. Please do the math! You cannot stand up for election to be our MP and expect to win by spending only 25 lakhs. We hear that our Emperor spent more than fifty Karods to make sure that our first daughter became our Mayor in Chitwan. So where does all the money come from?  

The EC tells our chor netas that anyone who wants to donate more than five thousand Rupees to our clowns has to do so by using the banking channels. But our donors don’t want the world to know that they donated some money to our politicians. Our byaparis would rather donate to all the major parties because he or she has to be in the good books or face harassment later by our tax departments and other government agencies.  And the tax department officials will then work out a deal to make sure that the byaparis pay less taxes while the kickbacks go all the way to our netas.

We all know that our political parties ask our fake VAT-bill byaparis, contractors and even civil servants to donate voluntarily during elections. After all, you need money to publish pamphlets, distribute caps and t-shirts, hire taxis and vehicles and loudspeakers and what not. And you need the money to hire mundrey gundas and pay for their fuel and chiya kharcha as well. 

We have nothing to be excited about and we know very well that our lives will not change for better even after we elect our chors in our provinces and for our federal parliament as well. Most of them will be the same crooks who have been robbing us blind. We will have new faces, the byaparis and mundrey dons who will now get to evade taxes freely and extort others. Do we really think our independent and the ‘new’ political parties stand a chance against our blood-sucking parasites? 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]