Print Edition - 2018-01-06  |  On Saturday

The gang of five

  • Well, the lefties will get to enjoy most of the freebies but you never know when alliances break down and our chor netas switch sides to form another government
- Guffadi
Yes, we are one of the few fortunate ones where communists still matter. Castro’s Cuba has the cigars while Lil’ Kim’s North Korea has nukes and what will Oli’s Nepal have?

Jan 6, 2018-It’s been nearly a month since we got done with our federal elections and it will take another month or two before our ‘lefties’ finally take charge and finally make this country prosperous. Yes, everything that has to do with the government moves in a snail’s pace in this land.  No wonder, Melmachi has taken us decades and our contractors are not done digging our roads in the capital. Maybe, by next year, we will finally get to use the water from Melmachi. Until then, be prepared to face dusty roads and traffic jams.

Yes, our communists want to make us rich and finally, our green passports might matter. But we know the difference between what has been promised and what will be fulfilled.  Yes, we are one of the few fortunate ones where communists still matter.  Castro’s Cuba has the cigars while Lil’ Kim’s North Korea has nukes and what will Oli’s Nepal have? 

Our Kangaroos are still trying to figure out what and where they went wrong. They should not lose hope because we have seen it all. The Kangaroos have been in power before, back in the 60s and in the 90s and they know very well that the time will come again to lead this country down the drain. 

In our ‘New Nepal’, we now have only five major political parties who will get to make some moolah and divide the loot and positions among their cadres. Well, the lefties will get to enjoy most of the freebies but you never know when alliances break down and our chor netas switch sides to form another government. For our politicians, it’s all about sharing power and loot while the common folks only get the boot and if we do protests then those in power ask our security personnel to even shoot at us. We thought the Shree Tins were bad then. We thought the Shree Panch was no better. We thought the Kangaroos were even worse. But now let us see how far our communists will go to enjoy the loot! When will our politicians realise that 

meritocracy is the way to go instead of only making sure that nepotism rules Nepal?

If we were to really believe our two communist kings, Oli and Prachanda, then we will finally get one big commie party in this country. It’s about time, Dr Saheb, Rabindra Mishra dai and Bijukche Bajey got together and formed one single party so that they too can be a national party next time around. If Lee Kwan Yee could share the space with the communists before he took it all then what’s wrong with our young turks sharing the space with other socialists and opportunists for now? After all, this is politics and you have to learn from our Emperor Prachanda on how to play the game. He can swing both ways, sideways, everywhere. He can bend it far more than Beckham.

I don’t know what Dr Saheb will be doing in the parliament? Yes, he gets free security, chiya kharcha and other perks for being our former PM but what will he do being an independent lawmaker in the House? Maybe, he should start teaching part-time and utilise his time instead. Yes, thanks a lot for the road-widening projects in the valley. Instead of making our cities pedestrian and cycle-friendly, we think having wide roads with speeding Micros and motorcycles make us a metropolis.

Our two Madeshi parties are here to stay. Let us hope they will do something good for the plains instead of playing the ‘ethnic’ card and just looting the state funds. Our Madeshi politicians should work together to help the people instead of extorting from their own for government jobs. The people have chosen you and do not fail them because in five years, we have the option of choosing the person you don’t get along with.  

Our Communists seem to be busy drinking chiya in the morning and something else in the evening to beat the winter cold. They just want the current caretaker government to announce temporary capitals and appoint governors and when they take over, they would love to scrap it all and do it their way. Yes, that’s our way of doing things in this land. It really doesn’t matter if it is a good plan or is best for the country. When the new person comes, he or she has to have his or her own way even if it means bleeding the country dry. Everybody who wants something from the government seems to be divided along party lines. No wonder, the peon is sometimes more powerful than the hakim saheb in some offices!

Our provincial assembly members will also have to wait for another month or two before they get to do some sunbathing while drinking tea and doing nothing. Our government has yet to appoint governors or even name temporary provincial capitals or even for now fix a temporary place for the provincial lawmakers to hang out. So what’s new in this beautiful land of ours? Nothing to be optimistic about but thank God, at least the prices of vegetables have come down compared to the previous months. 

Let us all have tomato soup and let Deuba and his courtiers enjoy their free lunch for now and let us hope our comrades will do their homework well so that once they take over, they will be better prepared to deliver instead of taking another year or two to get their own comrades on board.  After all, our politicians are good at forming factions and our communist parties are no better. Maybe, our communists should just go with ‘collective leadership’ where seven or nine  folk do their thing. Then at least, both parties will finally be able to accommodate their senior leaders or else, it’s back to the same story of musical chairs and back to the same old circus acts. 

 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Published: 06-01-2018 08:27

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