Print Edition - 2018-02-10  |  On Saturday

Our Prime Monsters!

  • Deuba should just relax, finish his whiskey and wait for the next person to enter Baluwatar. But no, he is not a lazy bum like you and me
- Guffadi
Our civil servants work for thirty years and then retire and get a decent pension. You can be a Prime Monster for a day, a Home Minister for a week and be one of those Chief Justices, Speakers or our VP and President and then you get to enjoy the life of a mini Maharaja till the end

Feb 10, 2018-The Bangladesi Court has sentenced the country’s former Prime Monster to five years in prison. Well, her supporters blame the party in power of bending the law to send her to jail but we all know that most of the politicians in our wonderful ‘shark’ region are mostly blood sucking parasites and we have yet to see men and women of character running our respective countries.

Across the border, former Prime Monster’s have been to prison as well. Even so-called powerful former mantris in India are now in jail for corruption. But when it comes to our Nepali Prime Monsters, we can all be proud of the fact that those who have lived in Baluwatar have been the most honest and competent folks in this country. And that’s the reason why we don’t hear about our former Prime Monsters going to jail for corruption or abuse of power when they were in office. 

Yes, our former Prime Monsters have not stolen a paisa from the State and they have only helped the needy ones with the funds from our state treasury. And yes, some of our former mantris have been to jail but they have been released and continue to act like they came back from a mission to Mars instead of burying their head in shame in their own backyard. We seem to have more living Prime Monsters than any other country in the ‘shark’ region. And we continue to provide them with all the perks that comes for being lucky enough to live in Baluwatar even if it was for less than a year. 

Our civil servants work for thirty years and then retire and get a decent pension. You can be a Prime Monster for a day, a Home Minister for a week and be one of those Chief Justices, Speakers or our VP and President and then you get to enjoy the life of a mini Maharaja till the end.

Yes, our VVIP needs security, free housing, vehicles and allowances so that they will never have to work again ever again. But former Amriki Presidents have to go on hundreds of speaking engagements all around the world, write half a dozen books to make enough money to live comfortably and the only exception will be Trump. Yes, they do get a few Secret Service agents for protection and that’s about it, unlike our VVIPs who go around with more a dozen gun-toting armed security personnel even when attending a child’s rice feeding ceremony. Maybe the Amriki Embassy can help out and help our government create its own ‘Secret Service’ to protect our very, very irritating persons!  

And even now our current Prime Monster, Shree Ek Maharaja Deuba of Dadeldhura continues to amaze us all with this great acts even though he doesn’t have much time left to stay in Baluwatar. Our former King Gyanu Uncle was a Shree Paanch. Our Ranas were the Shree Teens and our mini-Maharajas just can do the math and come up with their number! Yes, they are all Numero Unos for now! Yes, our netas have screwed up this country by their interfering in everything.  

No wonder, our senior police officers, sarkari hakims, judges and anybody appointed by the political ‘quota’ system continue to work for the corrupt netas instead of the 

common folks. It’s about time we become ashamed of our thulo mancheys because these fools will never repent and are not worried about how history will judge them as long as they make millions of Rupees and make sure that their kids and grandkids live their lives in luxury. Yes, they are doing it for their families but they seem to forget that they are in the authority. 

 But we can never predict our political nataks like we can’t do much about our earthquakes either.  It’s been years since we got hit by the big one and the families affected by the earthquakes have yet to live in real homes or even get the peanuts offered by our corrupt government. We all know that a few lakhs will not even be enough to build a room or two but our sarkari 

hakim sahebs continue to use the data from the 19th century when calculating the cost of building materials in this land.  

Most of our civil servants and politicians have mini-mansions in the capital. If we were to do the math on the cost of building the wall surrounding their homes, it would probably cost more than what the government has provided to the families affected by the earthquakes.

Deuba should just relax, finish his whiskey and wait for the next person to enter Baluwatar. But no, he is not a lazy bum like you and me. He is a hardworking man and he will not rest till he doles out millions and millions to his cadres and cousins while in office. He will come up with nataks like lowering the age for our folks to receive senior citizens allowances. He will promise another lakh for our families affected by the earthquake even though we don’t have the funds. And who will feed our netas in each of our provinces if we only care about the poor and the needy?

And while leaving Baluwatar, Deuba can do us all a big favour by making us all ‘martyrs’ so that we can all get some dough from the State like all the cadres, cousins and con artists affiliated with our political parties. Or if we were to follow the ‘play book’ from our Emperor’s jhola then don’t be surprised if Deuba wants to stick around and hop in bed with the Meowists to share the loot again. 

 

- Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Published: 10-02-2018 06:54

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