Nov 13, 2018-

Dear Aunt,

This is something I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about. I’m a girl with short hair. I changed my hairstyle a few months ago when my hair was damaged by colouring procedures. I’ve always had straight medium-length hair so it was surprising for people around me to see me in a completely different look. I didn’t discuss the decision with anyone and made the change right away and now I’m shocked to see how people around me are reacting to it. Although I act casual and deny people with a smile when I frequently get asked if I’m a lesbian, it feels quite bad when I have to think about it to myself. It’s not that I’m against the LGBTIQ+ community but it’s not something I’m a part of and it doesn’t feel good to be assumed. Even my family thinks that I might be giving a hint of coming out to them. My elder brother is the only person who understands me and has been supportive of my decision. But there are many eyes staring at me while I walk on the streets and I feel insecure to be who I am. I love this look and it has made me feel more like myself, but when I’m out in public, I just want to run back home and never come out until my hair grows again. How can I overcome this situation? Please help.



Dear Shailee,

Breaking patterns is always a challenging task. Even if it’s a personal thing, our society is most likely to be the first to notice this and comment on it based on people’s own perspectives. But given how far you’ve come and how you took this courageous step to transform yourself, you already sound tough enough to keep their voices to the background. The most important thing about the change is you. You are the one to decide how you want to present yourself. Nobody else knows you better than you do. Only then comes your family. If they doubt your sexuality then it follows that they don’t know you well. Maybe it’s time for you and your family members to have a bonding session. And please, don’t treat your brother like he is your only family; give others a chance to know you better and for you to understand them too. If you love your new look then it’s time for you to become a more confident version of yourself. The energy you put into polishing yourself internally will undoubtedly reflect on your appearance. Be more expressive, let people know your style more often. If they can cook up assumptions of you being a lesbian just given your hairstyle, express yourself more in a way that they can take it back. And if they continue to think you’re a lesbian, let them, for there is nothing at all wrong with being gay. Good luck!   



Published: 13-11-2018 08:04

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