Print Edition - 2018-11-17  |  On Saturday

Nepaleaks

  • Why is the greatest communist government on Earth afraid of its own people, media and even well-wishers?
- Guffadi

Nov 17, 2018-

We are done with Tihar and yet, evil continues to rule over good in this land of ours.  The only folks who have all the fun during the festive season are our hardworking civil servants, honest contractors and humble politicians. After all, this land is the land of opportunity for these thieves while for the rest of us, we seek our fortunes abroad.

We can cry and whine about rising food costs but our government doesn’t care about the shrinking wallets of the Nepali people. All our incompetent government cares about is how to appoint their near and dear ones to positions of authority and even make some dough out of it. Yes, everything is for sale in this land and those in power are milking it all while leaving this beautiful country of ours dry.

So, if your uncle is appointed an ambassador or a hakim saheb at one of our government agencies, then do not forget to ask him how much chiya kharcha he has paid to the Oli government. After all, we have the greatest communist government on Earth, a government that fires the first competent woman chief of Nepal Telecom and chooses other incompetent folks, all because she doesn’t want to bow down and make some money for our pickpockets.

Our great Prime Monster Oli continues to act like a dictator while he has a year or two to enjoy his last stint at Baluwatar. The government does not like freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of religion or any other kind of freedom.

I can understand the religion part because communists don’t like other Gods, as they themselves think that they are the only ones whom we should bow down and submit to instead of the other Gods we believe in. Our Oli government is also against our media-wallahs. Maybe, it is learning a thing or two from that guy in the West. And if you want to get arrested and spend a few days or even a month or two in jail then just go ahead and honestly comment on some posts about our chor netas on Facebook. The lesson here is if you really want to comment about our netas and thula mancheys, only say nice things about them.  

If you are not happy with the Bouddha-Jorpati road section, do not blame our thula mancheys. Instead, thank them for allowing the folks living there to exercise their ankles and get some practice if they decide to go trekking someday. Do not write about corruption on social media because our netas and civil servants have zero tolerance against corruption. They do not take a paisa from contractors and other con artists. They really are patriots who want to make this country great again, but it is us, the people, the media and everybody else who try to create obstacles in their quest to bring glory to this land by talking and protesting about our right to free speech and information.

Our Oli government is not happy with some of our mantris for talking to the press about Cabinet decisions right after the Cabinet meeting. Oli thinks that such information has misled the people. Somebody is really either smoking something else or needs to visit a neurosurgeon soon. But of course, he will go to foreign lands for medical treatment at the expense of our taxpayers’ while most of us will have no choice but to get fleeced by our private hospitals back home.

Why is the greatest communist government on Earth afraid of its own people, media and even well-wishers? Oli now warns his own mini-sinisters not to leak Cabinet decisions before they mature. Earlier, the government shared Cabinet decisions soon after they were passed but now it will be once a week because this Oli government is different. It has a two-third majority but wants to be like the regime of Gaddafi, Saddam Hussein and any other dictators now and ago. But of course, we don’t have oil or any nukes so we don’t have to worry about the West coming after our buffoons. But it’s about time Oli opens up a new ministry of miscommunication. So, you can hire someone like Baghdad Bob to head the ministry and dish out your own misinformation and keep us all out of the loop.

But Oli doesn’t need to worry too much, because even if your government shared all information with the public, it really doesn’t matter at all. We all know that we are not going to get 40,000 MW of electricity in a decade and earn billions of dollars from selling our resources to our chimekis. We know that we will not be part of the rail network that connects Lhasa to Lucknow, not even in the next century, because ‘Chindia’ has different plans for us. We know that the poor will get identity cards but not the dough because our civil servants and netas will embezzle billions of rupees meant for the needy.  

What this country really needs now are whistleblowers in each and every government office in this land. We really need to know the real story. We all know that our politicians, civil servants and those in power are all corrupt and are all in it only for the money but we still don’t know the real figure and where all the ‘black money’ really goes.

We need bank statements, video and audio evidences and even dig out trash from our chor netas’ houses so that we can see the true colors of these traitors and only our media-wallahs can save this land for finally going down the drain.  So, dear journalists, please rise above party politics and even gift hampers from bideshis.

This is our land and if the government is not willing to save it from sinking then it is up to you and your fraternity to rise up and fight against those who misuse their power to tower over us. Let us request all our patrakars to be like Harry Potter, so that we can finally prevail against hundreds of Lord Voldemorts of this land.

 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com.

Published: 17-11-2018 07:35

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