Road to self

Dec 4, 2018-

Dear Aunt,

I am a 14-year-old girl who studies in grade eight. I have been studying in this school since grade one and have a close group of friends. There were six of us but at the beginning of the year, a new girl came to our class and joined our group as the seventh member. She seemed nice and everything was fine initially. But recently, I have noticed that she has been trying to create a rift among us. She is very close with one of my friends and she bad-mouthed all of us to her and now she is angry with us. Now my friend doesn’t listen to us and it is creating a lot of problems in the group. Some of my other friends started to side with her and now the group is divided into two. They have teamed up against me and two of the remaining friends. I don’t know why they act so mean to us, it’s not like I have done anything wrong. They stare, laugh and talk bad things about us loudly, acting as if they don’t know about us being around. We have been friends for almost 10 years and now I don’t want us to fall apart because of something silly like this. Can you please help me convince my friends so that we can all go back together? Or can we never be the same again?



Dear Babita,

This is just the beginning. At your age, you will meet many people who might be ‘toxic’ in your life. To be honest, looking at your scenario, it’s alright to let some things go. As you grow older, you start to realise that you can’t live happily with everyone in your life. You need to start discarding things that hold you back. If your friends don’t trust you over the new girl, is it worth trying to convince them again and again, over the same matter that they just have disregarded? I can completely understand your emotions regarding the attachment with your friends but maybe they aren’t your ‘true friends’ as you remember from the past. People change with time and it’s alright, it’s a growth process. Maybe one day they will realise how they have been to you. But letting go also doesn’t mean you should be completely quiet about their torturous nature. If they get meaner, you have to take action for yourself. Talk to your parents, your teachers or any elder you trust, and seek their help. If their actions multiply, it can even become a form of bullying. So, it’s up to you to act brave and think wisely about the situation. Also, you still have your remaining friends, who have decided to stand beside you. It will be a wise decision to treasure them and stop worrying about the ones who have left you for good. 

Published: 04-12-2018 08:17

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