Will you marry me?

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- SAMRAT BARAL

Dec 13, 2018-

As we move towards the peak of the marriage season, a month filled with auspicious dates for wedding ceremonies, you never know what is going to happen if you are yet to get hitched. Social networking sites are filled with photos of newly-wedded couples in romantic poses. Buses and motorbikes can be seen chasing a car covered in garlands. The party venues in the city are crowded with guests dancing and partying. The bride and bridegroom look flamboyant in unique attires. It looks like they are going to compete in the final of some sporting event. Yes, it must really feel like going through the group stage into the final. I had a recent experience of going into the process of tying the knot.

My parents were suddenly awakened by the fact when one of my relatives told them that I had become old enough to get married. When your parents knock on the door of your room and tell you to get ready to get married, and when you don’t have a girlfriend, acknowledging them with a silent head shake is the only option. I

informed them about my preferred choice of a girl in terms of academic qualification, major subject, possession of a job and the location of her home, among others. I classified those parameters into critical, major and minor. While I would be considerate with regard to my parameters of minor importance, I would not move an inch away from my critical ones.

Then my parents began to consult relatives and friends to search for an ideal life partner for me. My relatives came up with several candidates fulfilling those parameters. I was faced with the dilemma of choosing one over the other with the knowledge that others were doing the same about me. The one you select may possibly reject you. Tossing around the options, I prequalified one of them and wished to establish communication. I was thankful that she also prequalified me to at least have a face-to-face chat. We planned a date and met.

I found she was struggling to figure out whether I fit into her ideal category or not; however, I was clear in my idea of giving each other an assignment to assess if we were compatible. In a direct talk, I told her to plunge into a dream of us being a couple, and to imagine what her minimum requirements and inflexible and flexible points in our post-marriage life would be. I would do the same some other day. Then we set up another round of talks and discussed our points and parameters. Finally, we came to the conclusion that neither of us fit into each other’s ideal category and decided to part, happily knowing that nothing was lost. I assume that proactive, intense and calculated thinking might save a conjugal relationship from ending shortly.

Published: 13-12-2018 07:33

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