Jan 8, 2019-
I was born with a huge body and a large bone structure. So eventually, I grew up to become a tall, muscular girl. If I was a boy, people would envy my physical traits but unfortunately, people don’t even want to look at me—at least, that’s what I feel. I was doing fine till secondary school where we used to play tag and football with the boys. Those were the days when I felt grateful of my appearance as I could do much better than many girls and boys. They all respected me for my talent and it was fun while it lasted. But now that I’m in high school, I’m no longer treated as the sports champion. In fact, I’m singled out every day at lunch. I don’t have many friends to talk to except for my childhood friend who always seems to see the best of me regardless of how ugly I’ve grown to be. If she were to ignore me like most of the others, I don’t know if I would even dare to attend school. Most girls at school have started wearing makeup and they go for different beauty treatments. But I feel like that’s not going to change my entire look anyway. They are the kinds of girls who are every boy’s ‘crush’ and ‘dream girl’ but I’m somehow the ugliest girl in class with whom boys only talk to when they need a stationary item during class. Even my childhood best friend has a boyfriend who is somewhat friendly to me.
My life is just starting and I already feel like a lonely loser who can never be loved by anyone. I don’t like to play sports anymore, it’s like I have given up everything now. I don’t know what to do about it, I think it’s not like I can do anything. I don’t know why am I even writing this to you but I hope that you can help me out somehow.
Before I write any further, I just want to let you know that you’re not ugly—you’re gifted. As from your letter, I’ve come to realise that you’re more of a sportswoman than just a normal girl. You have the kind of physical traits that with some extensive practice, can help you achieve your sporty dreams. At some points, you’re right—your life has just started, and you can’t do much about your inborn traits.
But what you can do is try to make the best out of it. For people, beauty has become more of an outer expression and they tend to forget that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and most importantly, it resides within the heart. I know that this sounds clichéd but trust me, that’s how it is.
You’ve mentioned that you no longer have many friends and they think you’re ugly so they don’t talk to you anymore. And you know what, the problem is right there—you thinking that they find you ugly. Your assumption about yourself has not only shaped you into believing that everyone finds you ugly, but has also detached you from the things you’ve always loved doing. Take some time for yourself. While you’re alone, take this as an opportunity to discover yourself. This will not only help you overcome your insecurity but will also help you understand yourself better. Get back out there in the court, try out your favourite things, and communicate with people whom you share a similar interest. See, having friends doesn’t seem so hard. And one more thing before I end this note, look around—not just within your own radius but try a wider perspective. You’ll come to notice that you aren’t the only one born this way. There are plenty of fish of your colour in the sea but if you keep on lurking around in the same place, you’ll definitely feel like that’s the end of it—even when we both know it’s not.
Published: 08-01-2019 08:17