Jan 15, 2019-
Dear Aunt,I am a 20-year-old student and a freelance graphic designer. I attend college in the mornings and work during the day. I have been working for the last three years and I’m in my final year of college. I feel accomplished when I realise that I have been sustaining myself through my hard-earned money and don’t have to ask for pocket money from my parents like almost all of my friends do. But there is one thing that has been bothering me for last two years. I am dating two girls. Before you judge me, I have my reasons.
One is my regular client while the other is my classmate at college. The client is seven years older than me and through her, I have learned a lot about life. I always go to her when I need to share my serious problems. I feel like she has also taught me a lot about love and being with her has made me mature faster than my peers. The classmate, on the other hand, is a sweet bubbly girl of my age. When I am with her I am awed by her innocence and spontaneity. She sees the good in everyone and when I am with her I feel like I see the world through rosy glasses and that is not bad at all. She helps me realise that I may be acting too old for my age and that sometimes I need to let loose.
I don’t know how I ended up dating these wonderful women but their individual traits attract me to both of them. I know I am two-timing these ladies but I don’t know who should I choose and who should I let go!
Let me say this—although you keep mentioning these two women as wonderful, you are doing them wrong. You are being selfish and taking them both for a ride. You say that you are more mature than most of your peers but your letter reads otherwise. In order to experience one’s company, you do not need to date them, especially multiple people. You are trying to excuse your wrong deeds and I feel that you know that too. Dating two people at the same time can never be justified. If you had enjoyed their company then you could be friends with them. While these two ladies are contributing to your life in various ways, what you’ve been doing to them will only hurt them. It is natural to want to have different experiences in life and to be in the company of people who share contrasting experiences. Spending time and conversing with others is a great way to learn about them and about life in general. But this cannot be a motivation to deceive and cheat two people who have put their trust in you and care for you.
You should understand that it is troubling that you feel so entitled that now you want to dump one in favour of the other. In truth, you don’t deserve either of these women. You are young and you may feel indomitable to other people’s feelings and emotions but that is not true. You also need to take into account other people’s sentiments when forming any relationship, especially when it comes to love and dating. Honesty should have been your main focus. But it is not too late. You need to come clean to both your dates and apologise for what you have done to them. If you go on handling your life like this then no one will be able to trust you in the long run. Today, you may feel like you can find anyone in life but if your approach doesn’t change then you might be forced to live a lonely life. You are disrespecting both these ladies and in turn, insulting the love and affection they’ve bestowed upon you. If you take this for granted, you will end up with nothing but yearning for love in the coming days.
Published: 15-01-2019 08:23