Jan 22, 2019-
I am 19-years-old and I have a friend who constantly cries over everything. I have few friends and she is one of them. We’re good friends as she is the only person in college whom I can talk to. However, like I said, any small incident is enough to make her bawl her eyes out. And it annoys me at times. For instance, the other day, she cried because she was going to be late getting home. The next day, she cried because she was going to be late to school. Honestly, her reasons for crying are quite lame, but being her only friend and she being mine, I’m not sure what to do. I am fed up with how easily she cries, yet I am afraid of telling her this because I am sure that will lead to her crying again. How do I tell her this?—Angie
As a friend, you have identified her problem but, in order to solve it, you must understand her issues. There might be some reasons for her to be sensitive over things that you don’t find too huge whereas for her, it might mean something else. Or on the other hand, she has grown up around sensitive people and it is very normal for her to express her emotions by crying. If you’re not sure about your friend’s problem, you should talk to her about it, not by stating that you’re annoyed—you can get to that part later—but to understand a bit of her psychology. Try to understand your friend more before bluntly pointing out her flaws bluntly.
It is also possible that no one has ever pointed out it to her and she finds it totally normal. On the other hand, she might have experienced something that has shaped her in that way. These are, however, just assumptions. It is important that you talk to her to know what is really going on with her. After talking to her openly about this, your friendship will get stronger. It is important to phrase your words carefully, as she is already a sensitive soul, you may not want to hurt her further. If she is a good friend of yours, it is your responsibility to help her navigate her emotions that can be a lifelong lesson for her. Then afterwards, you can also let her know that her behaviour affects you as well—sometimes to the point of annoyance.
Once you have shared your opinion, things might not be easy—she may or may not be able to take it positively and you must understand that things like these are going to be hard to deal with. But don’t give up right away. If she responds positively, you can both work to overcome her ‘fear’. However, if she takes offense, you should express your concerns, let her know about your emotions, and most importantly, give her some space to think about it. Later, if she is willing to overcome it, you can even take her to workshops that help young people manage their emotions. You can advise her to talk to her parents or siblings about it. Most importantly, it is for you to decide how you would want to help her, but do not forget to let her know that you will always be there for her, no matter what.
Published: 22-01-2019 07:55