LONESOME NO MORE

  • Agonyaunt

Jan 22, 2019-

I am a 27-year-old man who has just returned to Nepal after living abroad for nearly 10 years. In the time I was abroad, all of my friends have also left and I have found myself with no one to hang out with. I have no friends here and I am very lonely. The only people I currently socialise with are my family members and cousins but we don’t really share the same interests and we usually just end up talking about other people. it was interesting to catch up with my family for a few days but it has become a bit of boring now that we have exhausted reliving my childhood memories. I am very interested in music, poetry and the arts so I would like to meet people who share the same interests. Could you suggest how I could meet new people and find some like-minded friends to hang out with?

—Rahul

Dear Rahul,

Once you grow into the independent life—living miles away from your hometown—where you’re caught up with your own habits and affairs, it’s hard to get out of it right away. And it will certainly affect your life once you try to reconnect to the place that once used to be your ‘home’. But over the years, you’ve learned what home is for you. So, it shouldn’t take much for you to decide how to make this place valuable and realise what you are missing. From your letter, I assume it’s your social life that has been bothering you here and your childhood memories that you once thought would always be the same have changed. Before I advise you any further, you need to know that you have to be willing to make extra effort to get what you require. It’s good to hear that you’ve tried socalising with your family and cousins. And it’s quite important as well, especially considering the family events you’ve missed over the years. It isn’t easy to gain the same connection right away after being absent on many episodes of your family. So, even if there are things that don’t interest you, you might want to consider re-thinking them just in order to catch up with your loved ones. From that not only will you connect to your family but also get an idea of what’s going around with everyone and that might lead you to something that will interest you.

The other option you have is to use your Facebook events page or surf the internet and attend the kind of events that interest you. You can meet many interesting people through various events on arts, literature and music that may be happening around you. You can visit art galleries, live music venues, poetry recitals, theatres and open mics to meet like-minded people. It is important to build a fresh bond with your family but it is also valuable to have people who share your interests.

You do not have to confine yourself only within your family. You can ask to join your cousins when they are meeting up with their friends’ circles if you find it awkward to approach strangers at a random event. It is natural to find it difficult to make friends as you grow older but sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people who can contribute to your quality of life. Start somewhere!

Published: 22-01-2019 07:54

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