• Agonyaunt

Mar 26, 2019-

Dear Aunt,

I am a 21-year-old woman, and I have been juggling work and study. When I started my Bachelor’s degree two years ago, I was also offered a job at an educational consultancy. I was ecstatic, as they were things that I had been looking forward to—higher education but also financial independence.

But for the last six months, I have been feeling like maybe this is not something that is working in my favour. Although I felt like it was the right thing to do when I first started my job, now I feel like I have been missing out on so many things that I could have experienced as a college student. I never thought twice before prioritising my work over hanging out with friends. But now that I am in my third year of college, I feel that I may have been too hard on myself. Last week, when I was hanging out with my friends on the weekend, they were sharing so many fun stories. While they were having the best time remembering, I was sad to realise that I had no part in any of the fun things they had done.

It wasn’t just fun that I missed out on—I do not have any close friendships or any significant experiences from college. I did not travel at all while my friends have been touring different parts of the country. Now I feel like I have lost a major opportunity to learn by only focusing on a desk job. I have no motivation to continue with my job or my studies. The more I think about this, the more I get depressed. It has been a week since I stopped going to both my work and college. Aunt, please help me!


Dear Sabina,

It is commendable to aspire to be financially independent from a young age. As in your case, it was something that you chose, and you should be proud of it. There is nothing wrong with prioritising something totally different from what most people usually do. You shouldn’t feel that you have made a wrong decision simply because of that.

You should try to look it from another perspective, rather than regretting your past decisions. Everyone wants change in their life—this can be change of pace, lifestyle, eating habits, work or even as simple as a hairstyle. Maybe you are also going through the same phase. As you have mentioned, for the last year and a half, you were satisfied with your life choices and also adhered to them without giving much thought to what was happening around you. Now, you are not as satisfied because your worldview has changed—you want to travel and build friendships. This doesn’t mean that your earlier decision was all wrong for you.

It is true that experiencing college life, travelling and making friends are equally important as learning life lessons. But working and being financially independent are also parts of life. Think of it this way—while you feel that your college friends had the time of their life, your friends may be envious of you because you have years of work experience while they haven’t even started working.

And even if you think that you just want to be a student for now, then you can definitely leave your job and experience the college life like you want to. You have only completed two years of college and you still have two more years to go. You don’t need to feel depressed about losing time and opportunity, because they are right in front of you.

Do not dwell in the past and live your present the way you want to. But take one step at a time, and things will turn out for the better. Good luck!

Published: 26-03-2019 20:59

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