BITTER PLATTER

  • Agonyaunt

Apr 30, 2019-

Dear Aunt,

My girlfriend has been working in Dubai for three years. When she returned for vacation, I thought it’s going to be the best time of my life as I was going to meet her after two and half years. On the contrary, it was not what I had expected. I thought we both were in a committed relationship but during our conversation, she told me that she thinks otherwise. She then went on to share that she was never into a serious relationship with me. She said that our feelings for each other are a sort of infatuation and only based on physical attraction. But to me, it seems like she is confused about our relationship.

We started dating since we were in the ninth grade. Although we were quite young, I thought we were mature enough to distinguish what love is. Indeed, my feelings toward her were always positive and I used to believe that we would grow old together. But now, I do not know if it’s the distance or our maturity that’s hindering our relationship.

Aunt, I need your help. What could be the reason of this consequence? What should be my next step to mend our relationship?

- Bibek

Dear Bibek,

Relationships can only work when there is a two-way effort and commitment. You cannot decide to be with someone who isn’t willing to get emotionally involved in a relationship. In your case, it’s not just about maturity or distance, it’s more about keeping things clear. It has been a long time since you last met her. As you haven’t shared how things had passed over these years between you two, it’s hard to determine the state of your relationship. But with the information that you’ve shared, I think it’s crucial for you to confront her. Although you think that she is confused about the relationship, it appears that she isn’t interested at all.

Before you start assuming any reasons for her to behave in such a way, go ahead and have an elaborative talk with her about your feelings and where you stand in the relationship. You can’t decide right away to live forever with her without having an honest conversation with her about yours and hers future plans. If you adhere to your decision to continue regardless, it can result in complex and bitter consequences. You have to understand her vision of how she wants to continue the relationship. Tell her about your plans and know her plans as well. The most important thing is to understand each other and maybe it’s something that could have faded away during the meantime.

Don’t force to fix a broken glass. May be this wasn’t meant to be from the start. No matter what you both decide after the talk, be calm. Don’t take it as the end of your world or the beginning of an amazing dream come true. The vital thing here is to understand and respect each other’s decisions. Her way of conveying her thoughts could have been hurtful to you but you need to be courageous to accept what’s the truth. Good luck!

Published: 30-04-2019 09:56

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