• Agonyaunt

May 21, 2019-

Dear Aunt,

I broke up with my boyfriend a year back. We were friends for a year before we started dating. Although he had issues figuring out what he wanted to do in life and was seemingly directionless, I have a huge respect for him for the kind of person he is. But to this day, I couldn’t tell him how wonderful he is. I was too shy to express all my emotions.

A few months ago, he went abroad for his studies. When he left, I had decided that I should let him explore the new place to the fullest. He went to a liberal arts college so I’m very hopeful that he’ll encounter many opportunities there. Although we had known each other for a short period of time, we were very close and thus, shared almost all of our problems with each other. I just knew that he trusted me so much, even over his closest friends.

But recently, after a year, he texted me saying he has a girlfriend and whether I was okay with it. I lied and said I’m fine and very happy for him but in reality, I haven’t been able to move on. Now I don’t know what to do, Aunt. I think I lost a part of me. I feel like a fool for not expressing my feelings. I don’t know what to do Aunt, I just know that it’s killing me every day. Please help me.


Dear Ahana,

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes when you try to do good for your loved ones, it comes with a sacrifice. And although you feel like it’s because of you, there’s no valid reason to blame yourself as it’s something that just happens. You were brave to let him go and explore rather than clinging onto him. And even if he may or may not realise that, it’s the truth. You should let yourself heal.

Your ex asking to know how you feel about him dating again shows it also took him some time to move on. But since you have decided to let go of him in the first place, it is time for you to move on too. If you don’t want to lose him forever, then may be you can be his friend. But even for that, you need to keep your emotions in check and not be jealous or sad over his future relationships.

Although you are regretting not letting him know of your emotions, I think it is better that you keep it to yourself for now. Also, dating someone new doesn’t always go right and it doesn’t mean that he’ll end up with his new girlfriend. If he tells you in future that he is single again, then you can explore the future prospects of your relationship with him. But this is your decision to make.

What I can tell you is, acknowledging your past actions will help you heal and move forward in life. You broke up for his sake, and it’s time that you need to let him go for your sake. This doesn’t mean that you should stop loving him or not being in touch with him.

Accept the reality that lies in front of you and try to adapt to it. I know this sounds discouraging to you right now but later in life, you’ll realise that this was just a tiny chapter of your life which you thought you could never get over of. And guess what? Even the darkest storms end soon. Good luck!

Published: 21-05-2019 10:37

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