In search of a saviour

Guffadi, Nov 21 2015

The festival of lights is over and we all have no choice but to face the darkness that hovers around us. Our government banned firecrackers and imposed a 10 pm curfew even during the festive season but such laws didn’t apply to dohoris and dance bars that operated past midnight, disturbing neighbourhoods. Our police chiefs and CDO sahebs only know how to make money from illicit deals. And we can’t blame them either because they also need to pay the politicians who had offered them such lucrative postings.

Well, we are a ‘no’ power nation when it comes to everything. We have no clout in the international arena. Our incompetent government seems to have no power to mobilise its security personnel to secure the highways and borders. And our dream of generating 40,000 MW of power and making a killing will never materialise until the politicians and bureaucrats of today are gone.

I think our Madhesi-Tharu politicians want to celebrate ‘100 days’ of banda while the Oli government wants to stay put and do nothing until their 100 days in power is over. We have to be thankful to the protesters, though, the ones who are busy pelting stones and sleeping on no man’s land during the day and filling up gas cylinders and sending it to customers in the valley at night.

The government should stop publishing daily market prices of vegetables and stuff. Why not have ‘black market’ prices for cooking gas and fuel instead? The current black market price for a cooking gas cylinder is Rs 8,000 while petrol has come down to Rs 350 per litre from Rs 500 in a month.

We all know that our ‘No Oil Corporation’ (NOC) is involved in the black market. The hakim saheb at NOC is a crook but nobody can touch him. He is where he is because of source force and to get rid of him would mean millions of rupees less for our politicians who put him there.

Our Madhesi-Tharu politicians could also make a killing if they took a ‘protection’ kharcha from the black marketers as well. Everybody makes money while we, the common folks, are the ones paying them ridiculous amounts to just survive until this natak is over.

But now the question is not when the current crisis will be resolved but how long our current ruling coalition of chors last; it is when will we have the next band of thieves to be mantris and enjoy the freebies from the state?
It’s time we all wake up from this nightmare and teach our politicians a thing or two about humanity and compassion. I think it’s about time we asked our Pujaris, Monks, Padres, Imams and other religious leaders to come together to give a crash course to our chors on how to be a good human instead of being slimy corrupt con artists.

Our Madhesi-Tharu politicians think that holding millions of people hostage by blocking the borders will give them a few more provinces. Our incompetent government seems to have no one to give them advice on. Where have all the experts gone? I guess they are all busy trying to figure out how to make more money from the crisis instead of resolving it.

Comrade Biplab told us that he would start his protest programmes after Tihar. I guess he is still busy digesting all the food he must have gorged on during Tihar. Let us forget our politicians because we all know that they are good for nothing jackasses. Do we really need someone to lead us? Do we really need one person to be the face of our protest programmes? Why can’t we all get together and plan something?

Let us place a hundred kg garland on our politician’s neck. Offer him ladoos and pedas and thank him or her for making sure that we all suffer. Let us play some Bollywood tunes and even invite Manoj Gajurel to be Modi as we dance all day in front of the residence of the Madhesi-Tharu leaders as well as those of politicians of major political parties.

Oli and his crew of misfits cannot keep on blaming India. The problem is in-house. We are looking for a saviour to bring all our chors together so that our lives will go back to normal instead of worrying about how to get the next cylinder of gas or enough fuel to get to work.

We want our lives back. If you want to lead then please raise your hand. Just take a step forward and we will follow. We don’t care about politics and provinces. We just want Nepali people to be able to buy daily stuff needed to survive. Is that too much to ask?


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs
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