Thanks to changing social structures, norms and the increased reach of education, services and modern technology, many sections of society that were inaccessible to women of older generations have opened for new generations. Nepali society is now gradually changing, especially in its orthodox definition of gender-based roles. In this light, we women want to feel as liberated and empowered as our male counterparts. But, are we?

Not yet

Breaking the cocoon of traditional roles means exploring new territories with little or no experience. The more girls reach out to new horizons, the more they are out on the streets, schools and offices, the more they travel and the more they meet different people. But in our society, it all comes with the price of increased exposure to gender-based harassment. A lingering stare from top to bottom, a surprising elbow on an improper body part, an uncomfortable touch, an unwelcomed remark and a whistle every now and then. All these are easily overlooked aspects of gender-based harassments to which many girls are repeatedly subject.

To make matters worse, there are very few places where a girl can take her complaints without being judged further. This forces her to give up the opportunity/freedom to seek growth and become a silent sufferer of harassment. Even those who dare to stand up against harassment have their self-esteem and worth constantly challenged. Owing to such harassment and the subsequent injustice, we have already lost a massive fraction of could-be-independent women and continue to lose them.

The tardiness in changing our predisposition towards sexual harassment is why we haven’t been able to fight such behaviour properly. A harasser thinks it is okay to show his superiority over women, the victim thinks it is best if she lets go by staying silent and the observers feel it is better not to get involved in others’ affairs.

A societal problem

Recently, I was stalked by a stranger in Bagbazaar. When confronted, he started abusing me verbally with improper insinuations. People stopped to listen but showed no support. In broad daylight, on a busy street, I was left to my own defences. When juxtaposed against the severe cases of violence against women, this might look like a venial one, but it is not. While not a threat to my life, it was a serious attack on my freedom and self-esteem.

Nothing is more nauseating than the sick sense of machismo instilled in our boys. And what is more damaging is the condoning of such behaviour by victims, families and societies. It has become commonplace for perpetrators of sexual harassment to go unpunished, both socially and legally. This practice of approving of the morally wrong is where we have to begin if we are to fight against the dark underbelly of society.

This is not possible through individual effort. Defining women’s roles and helping them achieve respectable stature can only be a result of the cumulative efforts of women themselves, their families and society. These efforts must go deeper than just sending daughters to schools, though that is undoubtedly one of the most important initiatives. Through the lopsided treatment of different genders, we are doing preventing women from seeking the same growth as men. Our faulty social structure gives a man unquestioned probity while the moral integrity of a woman is constantly interrogated. As long as society defines a woman through her physical vulnerability, we cannot say that we have marched any forward in creating a level playing field.

Living, prospering and seeking personal satisfaction is the innate right of all, irrespective of any social differences, including gender. Empowering women is not just about offering them opportunities but also about creating a proper school, workplace and public environment where they can prosper unrestrained and where they are not assaulted or looked down upon because of their gender. If we continue to overlook gender-based mistreatment, we will be leaving a terrible legacy to our progeny. We cannot change the past but the future is ours to shape.

Paudel is an economics graduate with an interest in public policy and can be reached at [email protected]