End is just a beginning
- One of the most important stages in life; is marriage the end or the beginning of happiness?
Dec 25, 2016- I have only few days in my hands before I become a completely new person, leading a completely new life. In no time I’ll get married and become somebody’s wife, and somebody’s daughter-in-law. I will share my life with people who have no idea who I am, where I come from, and what makes me—‘Me’. In just few days from today—nothing will ever be the same again. This is it—the end of everything I have been for the last 25 years of my life.
Never had I ever imagined that I’d settle for an arranged marriage. I always thought of myself as a modern woman who would choose her life partner. I have always had certain standards and a certain checklist of expectations that my potential husband needs to meet. And by 25—which I just turned two months ago—I had everything figured out.
I was in love with a wonderful man. He was young, handsome, kind, and I enjoyed his company. After being in a relationship for five years straight, I just knew I’d marry him. There was no doubt, no confusion. I just knew he was my ‘happily ever after’, it was no rocket science.
Unfortunately, Nayan didn’t quite reciprocate my faith and confidence in our relationship. It would have been okay, given a different circumstance. I would have probably understood his confusion. However, at a time when a marriage proposal knocked at my door and my parents believed that I would be happy with this random man, I could have used some confidence from my lover.
Nayan just said, “I am not ready for such a huge responsibility.” He could have said gazillion things, like perhaps, we could introduce our parents to each other, ensure commitment and maybe get engaged, and wait for the right time to get married. Perhaps, he could have said that he’d come meet my parents. If nothing else, he could have at least asked me to stall this for a while and not be impulsive. But, he just said that he was not ready, and never ever replied my phone calls after that day.
Such is life. My five-year long relationship and all the faith in it just went down the drain—completely devastating me. Imagine an emotional investment reaping nothing but a major heartbreak. But, I had to cope and it helped that I come from a society where not all love stories culminate into marriage.
I acted on my impulse and accepted the proposal. I accepted to get married to a random man—that I had never met. I accepted to get married into a family that would probably never understand me. Yes, it was not necessary. I could still fall in love with a man that met every requirement in my checklist, but I was exhausted to find love again.
The man I decided to marry was a stranger; except for I had seen him exactly once. I vividly remembered him from five years ago. There was a party at my uncle’s place, where I was family, and he was son of a friend. There was a massive downpour outside. As my soon-to-be husband walked towards the house through the slippery path; he tumbled and sprained his leg, while I quietly giggled from the inside.
That is the only memory I have ever had with him—what remains of us now and so far is just imagination.
Two months ago, my father got a message from one of our relatives about a couple willing to have their son married to me. Fail-safe and fool-proof old man, my father did a massive background check and history digging, before he told me about the proposal.
Tall and handsome, my future husband was fit and flaunted a muscular body. Brought up in Kathmandu, he pursued his undergraduation in Madrid. With a marketable educational certificate, he was back in the country and held a good rank at a multinational company. Passionate about engineering, he also taught part-time. He was amiable and spoke fluent Spanish.
My parents loved him. Although, I was in denial at first, he did meet most requirements on my list. In fact, he was better than my ex-boyfriend. Nayan was still struggling with completing his education, he was not ready to settle, and apparently was emotionally unstable. This stranger on the other hand, had it all figured out.
When I started talking to him, I realised he’s rather funny, sweet and respectful. While he made me laugh, he also gave out a very secure vibe. He became a friend who soothed the wounds of my heartbreak. In no time, he brought out the best in me. In no time, I felt affection towards him that I had never felt before.
Marriage is a massive responsibility. It is one of the biggest decisions in one’s life, and also one of the most difficult. But, when I looked at myself in the mirror today and asked—am I ready for this? I surprised myself with the answer. I don’t think I’ll get a better husband.
I am a young woman, who never thought she would settle for an arranged marriage, yet here I am—equally excited and nervous about my arranged marriage. In just few days from today—nothing will ever be the same again. This is it—a new, happy beginning.
Published: 25-12-2016 09:29