Trickles of mist veined through the window pane in that cold winter evening as Radha sat beside the window, with a doll deeply buried in her arms. Staring at the brightest star in the sky, Radha wondered if her mother had scrabbled through the fogs and clouds to be with her on her birthday. It was only last birthday that her mother had surprised her with the same doll.

She wiped her tears as she wished she could go back in time. Clouds blanketed the sky and the stars went into hiding. Radha was just about to go to bed when she heard a loud thump on the door downstairs. It was her father hollering with a woman in his arms who he had married after Radha’s mother’s demise.

Not paying attention to any of the gimmick, Radha returned to her room. Whimpering alone, Radha realised that her birthday had suddenly turned into the gloomiest day after her mother’s demise.  It had not been easy to first lose her mother and then welcome another woman in her own and her father’s life. As days passed by, Radha struggled against her father’s awkward romance with the new woman. A lot had changed. Her father and his new companion often treated Radha as the third wheel in their new relationship. Eight-year-old Radha was not getting enough attention; she had to take care of her food, clothes, and homework like an adult herself.

Her loneliness and helplessness was evident to the neighbours and other villagers, but her father was made of something else. Exasperated in her house, Radha had even tried to flee away from home but the big world would scare her and she would just go back to her life.

After two years of affliction; Radha had gotten accustomed to it.

It was a soothing summer evening and as usual, Radha was tied up in a monologue with the stars in the clear sky when her father called her downstairs. A young, swarthy man with a long beard was sitting on the couch with her father. After a brief talk with that stranger, her father told her that he was their distant relative and they have decided to send her to the city with the man. Father told Radha that the school in the village was not going to take her anywhere in the long run.

Radha couldn’t have been happier. She wanted to do great things in life and for that she wanted to go to a good school. She also wanted to run away from her father and his wife. This was going to be great. She packed her bags and left the village with the man very next morning.

It’s a cold winter evening, Radha is still yearning for a moment with her demised mother; more intensely than ever before. With her hands scarred with wounds, body exhausted, and heart ready to burst out of sadness, she stares at the starry sky from the dark room. She wonders how her father will ever rectify his sins of sending her to one of the worst orphanages in the city. She sees a shooting star and closes her eyes to make a wish. “God please send me a seraph to take me to my mother.”

Subedi is pursuing BscAg  at Agriculture and Forestry University, Nepal