Our Madame Speaker has been meeting our so-called top leaders of major political parties to resolve the political crisis in the country. I think it would better if the Speaker just stayed at her residence and did a group Skype with our old fogies and save us a few liters of petrol. Instead of meeting with our crooks, she should just go on live TV, show a big stick and maybe a few carrots as well and tell our stupid netas to get their act right. Well, it is the job of our Madame President to tell our so-called top leaders to show political courage and compromise to take this country forward. But our President is busy cutting ribbons here and there and that’s about it.

We all know that our politicians are crooks and, instead of thinking about the long-term future of this land, they are only interested in short-term personal gain that will help them enrich themselves but make this country and its citizens poorer by the day.

Yes, this beautiful land of ours is always in turmoil when it comes to the political nataks. It seems that our ruling clowns and the opposition wallahs cannot find common ground to end the political deadlock. The usual natak of not agreeing to anything except when it comes to looting the funds meant for the people continues till this day and will continue even when our ruling clowns become the opposition and the other parties run the government.

Oli and his crew tell us that the amendment bill brought forward by our incompetent government is anti-national. Well, it seems that all of our politicians are anti-national, because instead of resolving the political crisis, they seemed to be engaged in petty issues and have personal conflict among themselves. It’s about time our politicians let go of their big egos and just get done with resolving the political deadlock.

Our opposition wallahs tell us that they will keep on disrupting the House until the amendment bill is withdrawn. Our incompetent government tells us that everything will be fine even though it does not command a two-third majority votes to pass the bill. Instead, we are told to prepare for the local polls soon.

Dr KC just recently ended his hunger strike but we all know that our government will not carry out the reforms demanded by the ‘crazy’ doctor. Who wants to bring an end to the kickbacks you can get from allowing byaparis to open new medical colleges all over the place? Who wants to stop appointing their own chamchas to head government institutions so that they can embezzle millions of rupees and share it with our netas?

We have not had local elections for the past two decades and we have no one to blame but the man who will live in Baluwatar after our Emperor is done with his nataks. Our major political parties promised us that we would have local elections after they delivered the constitution.

Well, we have a constitution but it seems that half of the country does not accept it and we still can’t get it right when it comes to how many provinces we need. Oli even told us that we would have our mayors and ward chairperson soon after he became our Prime Monster.

It seems that the people want local representatives in our wards and municipalities but our political parties are the ones who would rather not have local elections so that the all-party mechanism can continue to loot our funds.

So how do we agree on the number of provinces and its boundaries? How do we bring our opposition wallahs on board and bring an end to the political deadlock in this nation? Who holds the magic key? Maybe, we should ask Ram Dev to come and live in the House for a month.

Begin the day with his stomach-wave routine and breathing exercises and make it mandatory for all of our lawmakers to attend the morning yoga session. Then Ram Dev can ask our clowns to stand up and tell us all on live TV what is bothering them. After listening to their grievances and frustration, Ram Dev will pass on the judgment and our clowns will have to happily accept it and then we can move forward and live happily ever after.

Why Ram Dev? Why can’t our politicians listen to our experts, civil society and the public, when deciding what is right for our country? We need people like Ram Dev because our politicians only listen to the foreigners. They give them VIPP treatment and our politicians, even our President rush to meet the bidhesis as if they are our saviours.

If Ram Dev is not acceptable then we can send our netas to Trump Tower in New York City and arrange a meeting with the President-elect of the United States. Maybe Trump can come up with a solution because he seems to have an answer to all of Amrika’s problems and wants to make his country great again. We have never been great but we can try to be great for once and Trump may just have to use Google first to find us and then give us his opinion.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]