Transparency International (TI) tell us that we are the third most corrupt country in South Asia and we rank 131st when it comes to the global rankings. We need to tell these TI folks that we have our own ‘alternative facts’ and our data tells us that we are still a little less corrupt than other SAARC nations because the security personnel in some countries in our region will not stop harassing you until you give him at least ten Rupees. At least our cops are better than that. When they stop our cab drivers, they ask for recharge cards for their mobile phones or at least enough to buy a full plate of local momos!

Let us congratulate our politicians and civil servants for working together to at least help our country win the bronze medal for corruption in our region. And with the way things are going, don’t be surprised if we win the ‘gold’ for South Asia within this decade. Yes, we will get there because we have nobody to stop our chors from looting us all.

It’s really tough for our civil servants because they read the news and they hear about how an Indian politician spent $74 million for his daughter’s wedding. They read about how a Desi government engineer got caught with tens of karods Indian Rupees in his house. When we hear about corruption in India, their media tells us that some crook was involved in some scam worth a thousand Karods. Now, what that does is make our politicians and civil servants aspire to be like those corrupt clowns across the border. But of course, our economy is smaller and our byaparis don’t make profits in thousands of Karods and that’s why our netas take a few Kaord here and there to fund their lifestyle, provide for their families and also save for future elections and other works related with their political parties.

The only folks who can afford to pay our netas hundreds of Karods are our bideshi friends. No wonder, we hear about our politicians calling their ‘Facebook’ friends on both sides of the border for funds to either topple the government or to stay in power.

During the ‘Panchey’ days, our civil servants asked for bribes under the table. After we took to the streets and brought our so-called democrats to the kurchi, everyone decided that we should be free to pay bribes and receive them above the table. And now, we have been a ‘Republic’ for years and the State is busy ripping off the public in all ways possible.

And in a few years, when we have the divided states of Nepal, be prepared to pay chiya kharcha to everyone along the highway when you drive from one state to another. Yes, we will have to pay the federal tax, state tax and the local tax and who knows even the neighborhood tax perhaps. Yes, we will keep on paying because then we will have to pay for the state ministers and fund their luxurious lifestyles as well.

Corruption is everywhere. If you pay chiya kharcha, then you don’t have to stay in line to get the forms for the written exam at the Yatatyat office. If you pay more, then you will even pass the exam and then you can go for the actual ‘trial’ stuff where you fail the driving test and still get a license if you pay more.

If you are registering a NGO to help the needy and the underprivileged, the sarkari hakim will make your life miserable by accusing you and your ancestors for trying to get rich by getting funds from the bideshis. But the same hakim saheb has no shame when it comes to stealing the tents, jackets and other stuff the bideshis had provided for those displaced by the earthquake. And after weeks of going around the CDO office, you finally have to pay chiya kharcha to get the registration. And once you pay, the hakim saheb will hug you and be your friend and tell you that this country needs people like you to help the needy because the government alone can’t be everywhere and provide all the services to the people. But of course, come next year, when it’s time to renew your NGO’s registration, be prepared to face the same harassment as the year before.

If common folks need to pay chiya kharcha for express service to receive the basic services from the state then just imagine how much our con artists and fake-VAT bill byaparis pay the civil servants and our netas to evade taxes? We all know that most of our big business houses have some kind of a deal with folks at the Finance Ministry. That’s how our byaparis have been playing the game for ages.  Yes, if our government was really serious about collecting taxes from our byaparis then we would not need foreign aid, loans and grants to balance our budget.

We all pay taxes in one form or another. Our vehicle taxes should be used to build our infrastructure and maintain our roads and highways. But it seems that we pay taxes just to feed our civil servants and pay for the perks provided to our politicians. But it’s not enough. Our civil servants and netas always want to hike their pay because they tell us that with all the inflation, it’s hard to survive on what they get from the State. 

But how do the common folk seem to manage to survive even when their income has not increased in years but the house rent in the Capital has increased by a hundred percent after the earthquake? Food prices have increased by fifty percent in the past two years. It’s seems that we are barely surviving while our civil servants and clowns continue to enrich their lives by engaging in corruption and seem to get away with it. Well, they do catch the small fishes from time to time but when will the big sharks get caught and punished for bankrupting this country?