Our Maharaja Sheroo Dai is leaving for New York after he is done celebrating ‘Constitution Day’ here at home. Yes, our Prime Monster and thulo mancheys need a vacation every other month to refresh themselves so that they can always come back home and come up with new ideas to loot the state and everyone else while making their near and dear ones happy.

It seems that our netas and civil servants are neither inspired nor motivated to bring changes to our land after visiting other countries. Look how the Chinese and the Indians have fared since the 1990s. If we had just followed their formula and stayed on the path, we would probably be doing better instead of forcing millions of our folks to work overseas for peanuts and in pitiable conditions. 

It seems that only manpower agencies have made billions in this land and those who own these companies get to be mantris and even Ambassadors.  After all, this is the land where a few Karods will help to make you a Constipated Assembly member, get you lucrative postings if you are a civil servant and even be the top hakim saheb if you can dole out more.

Our Kangaroos and the Unidentified Mundrey Leaders blame the Maoist for burning everything up then. But let us not forget that the comrades didn’t start the fire. It was always burning and they just wanted a bigger bonfire and that’s about it. Today, we are here where our comrades and the Kangaroos are now partners. Politics is a dirty game but if we were to learn from our politicians then we would all forget and forgive our neighbors for stealing a few paisa of our land by building the wall without our permission. The world should learn from our politicians. Maybe our netas could even help resolve the conflicts in the Middle East.

I think our Maharaja Deuba and Emperor Prachanda could win the Nobel Peace Prize for finally uniting the Koreans. These two magicians can show the North and South Koreans how to work it out. After all, it’s all about the money.  But of course, Lil’ Kim has more money than our Emperor while politicians in South Korea can get more dough from the byaparis than our politicians here!  But, our two clowns can at least try and show the world that even Nepalis can help bring peace in the world even if we can’t do it in our own land and we don’t always need the Amrikis or the Scandinavians to sort things out for us or the world!

It’s about time our incompetent government cut down on public holidays instead of celebrating the day when our Shree Tins left  the building and the day when they hung our martyrs and the day Gyanu Uncle gave up or the day when we became a Republic. Why not save us a few million Rupees if we just had one day to celebrate this beautiful land of ours.

For now, that would not be possible but we can at least ask this corrupt and incompetent government to just celebrate ‘Nepal’ Day instead of celebrating the day we had our half-baked constitution and why should we keep on celebrating each and every peoples’ movement? The Ranas are long gone. Let us not keep on blaming them for all the mess! Kids these days don’t know much about the House of Shah and the Pancheys. Let us stop blaming the House of Shah for all our problems now.   And in a decade or two, nobody will be talking about our Emperor and his so-called ‘war’ against the system and how we finally became a Republic. By 2030, we will probably have our own twenty-four kingdoms and then we can celebrate our own national days then.

Our Prime Monster will be in New York next week. He will meet President Trump like other world leaders, do the 30-second photo-op natak, grab a bite or two and that’s about it. The last time he met with an Amriki President, he managed to get some dough to fight against our comrades then. This time, he can ask for some dough from Trump again. Just tell the Amriki President that we need the dough to build a wall for ourselves as well.

Prime Monster Deuba will address the UN General Assembly and he will also seek support from other countries in our effort to get a seat at the UN Human Rights Council for the coming term. Whom are we kidding? Deuba and Prachanda have still not apologized for the violation of human rights of Nepalis during the so-called civil war. The security forces and our comrades were both involved in killing and torturing common folks as well.

Yes, the war is long over. But not much has changed for the common folks. Why is it so hard for our chors to ask for forgiveness and reach out to the families affected by the actions of our security forces and the comrades as well?

Our netas can’t even get it right and we are still waiting for our commissions to set things right by helping the victims of the conflict and making sure that the violators are held responsible for their crimes. Our netas are in power and they don’t care about our courts but the world is watching. We may not have the courage to send them to prison today, but someday they will have to face the music. We will have honest politicians then and our civil servants will do their job right and follow the Supreme Court’s orders to punish the guilty and who knows maybe the international courts will finally see the light as well!

Deuba is our Prime Monster again and his number one enemy then is his best friend today. And our Maharaja doesn’t care if he violates the laws of the land and keeps on increasing the size of his cabinet. Yes, one out of ten fools is now a mantri. Why not just make all of our CA members mantris before they leave the building and we can all provide them perks, vehicles and other chiya kharcha for life. After all, that’s the only reason our chors wanted to get into politics. They want to make a quick buck and those who can’t want a pension and other perks. Long Live The Republic!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]